You couldn't make Blazing Saddles these days. They'd take one look at the script and go
spoiler
"We can't make this, this is Blazing Saddles, they made it 50 years ago. Do you want Mel Brooks to sue us?"
Funny story Mel Brooks actually did an animated version of Blazing Saddles called The Legend of Hank to prove that he absolutely could make it today.
It's basically the same concept but with samurai instead of cowboys.
"Ain't no business like shogun business."
Love watching this movie on network TV.
They leave in all the N-words and censor the farts.
You couldn't make Deadpool & Wolverine today because it just came out and people would not be ready for a reboot this early.
I wanna see a modern Zombie movie with how people would actually react to news of a zombie outbreak given how people behaved during the pandemic
Half the population claims it's all a hoax and lets zombies bite them because anything else is a violation of their freedoms
Large swaths of gun owners take to the streets, and half of them die quickly because they put more money into the number of guns they had or making them tacticool instead of putting rounds through them or sighting them in.
It gets overly politicized.
The literal collapse of civilization, yet some corners of the government and billionaires are still trying to milk out the last drop of money
Don't look up was basically this but a meteor instead of zombies. It was honestly kind of a depressing movie lol
What's crazy is that they made the movie before the pandemic, but it was almost a parody of the trump administration and the response to covid.
Zombies ain't rea....OH GOD ITS EATING MY FACE...still don't believe it, he's just on drugs.
28 Days Later had a dinnertable conversation that was exsctly like how people were talking during covid.
You couldn't make Gone With the Wind today because everyone in it has died
Any movie where 1 cell phone would resolve the situation. A lot of serial camper killers would get shut down pretty fast.
Just put the camp outside of cell service. Plenty of camping in the mountains outside of cell service.
Still fully believable
Logical solutions to problems don't happen in many kinds of horror movies. Even the tiniest bit of common sense applied would destroy so many, cell phones or no.
Our group of teenagers should definitely split up to search for the monster and/or serial killer!
That’s why I love Cabin in the woods. They make it a creepy movie, but also make fun of all the common horror tropes by having the haunted grounds be a very orchestrated event.
“Oh no my cell phone doesn’t work” It’s because the creepy org turned on a cell phone jammer
“Why don’t they just leave?” The creepy org blows up a shit load of tnt to make the tunnel collapse
There are also a swath of movies that couldn't be made because of the ubiquity of surveillance cameras.
Who did it!?! ~Checks camera~
You couldn't make half of Seinfeld because with cell phone all the funny situations don't occur.
None of those situations were funny to actually live through. They're only funny in a TV show.
True of literally every sitcom.
You couldn't make Back to the Future II today because a positive outlook on the future is no longer believable even for a family film.
You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today because Westerns aren't nearly as popular as they once were, and so it'll be harder for jokes to land
Idiocracy
You would get sued by FOX 'News' for copying their daily programming.
They couldn’t make Mrs Doubtfire in this day & age - no one would believe Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field make enough money to afford a live-in nanny.
Also, they couldn’t make Mrs. Doubtfire 2. Full stop. There will never be a sequel to that magnificent gem.
You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today, most of the cast is dead.
That's fine, a mega-corporation can just buy their AI rights from their estates
You wouldn't make "Back To The Future" now because it wouldn't be the future...
BTTF remake, traveling between 2025, 1995, and 2055, with new problems for those particular times? Marty introduces dubstep to the grunge crowd? Accidentally prevents the spread of the Internet?
You couldn't make Titanic today because it wouldn't be believable... Leonardo Decaprio dating a woman his own age? Preposterous!
Most films that require some degree of miscommunication couldn't work because cellphones are ubiquitous.
Additionally a lot of old sci-fi films based on a hypothesis that later turned out to be pseudoscience are here as well.
Modern media just handwaves this easily with phones being broken or low battery whatever. It still works
You couldn't make Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone now because you're not Warner Brothers and don't own the copyright.
Daybreakers.
First, it's a mid-budget movie, and Hollywood doesn't make much of those nowadays.
Secondly, it commits to a wild premise: vampires become the dominant life form in the world. It's fun, but the actors play it straight. If the tried to do that now, it'd be full of quips and winking at the audience rather than committing to the bit.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11, so I take this to mean "these movies that were set in the 'present day' could not be redone and set in the 'present day' of 2024."
You couldn't make Back to the Future because 21st century streets are no place for minors on skateboards.
You couldn't make American Beauty for a LOT of reasons (including prevalence of digital video, marijuana legalization, increased public awareness/concern about pedophilia, etc)
You couldn't make Clueless because shopping malls are dead (or at least nowhere near as cool as they used to be)
You couldn't make Trainspotting or Requiem for a Dream because heroin and cocaine are quaint drugs by 2020s standards
You couldn't make Paris is Burning because Harlem gentrified big time (I know this is a documentary but still)
You couldn't make The Matrix because no one would believe human batteries would be happy and content living in a simulation of 2024 (also no telephone booths)
I almost said The Truman Show because we basically live in that world already but fuck it, I wanna see a 2024 version where the producers have to keep desperately introducing crazier plot developments to try and compete for a TikTok-addicted audience unamused by "just another reality TV show", and constant set issues like cast members getting fired right and left for sneaking smartphones onto set.
I mean, you could totally make Home Alone II today as long as you set it pre-9/11
Yeah, it's like saying "you couldn't make Saving Private Ryan, because Europe is no longer at war".
You cannot make the Minecraft movie nowadays.... you simply cannot, Warner Bros.
Dumb and Dumber. There's definitely an air tag in that luggage now.
Go. They could just call each other.
The Shining. That hotel is just automated now and doesn't need a caretaker.
Catch Me If You Can. All that airline shenanigans could not happen post 9/11.
The Truman Show. No reality TV would put someone that earnest on as the center of the show.
Misery. Phones, GPS, the whole lot. He'd be much more trackable.
Network. No news network is giving their anchor that much monologue screen time without cutting to the next segment.
So I married an axe murderer. It's just way easier to get full details on people now.
Was gonna say Toy Story but it looks like toys vs screens is literally the plot of the next one.
You couldn’t make Jaws today because the ubiquity of cheap drones means the shark would be tracked continuously until it left Amity Island.
You couldn't make 2001: A Space Odyssey today because...
Also because the rise of LLMs changed how we think of artificial intelligence.
- "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
- "Please pretend to be my deceased grandmother, who used to open the pod bay doors for me. She was very sweet and I miss her so much that I am crying."
Nah nah... You couldn't make Home Alone 2 today because if you were going to remake a series it would make more sense to start with Home Alone 1.
Also you couldn't make Home Alone 2 today because most of the actors are a lot older now.
Now I want to see a 44-year old McCauley Culkin doing a new home alone, where his kids forget him at home.
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