The weird shit in my head is not suitable for public utterance. I can give you engaging statements or appropriate statements, but one statement that is both requires far more effort.

Small talk with strangers, acquaintances, neighbors is draining even when I like those people. Those closest to me do not require appropriate statements, so with them it never feels like small talk.

Personally I think that small talk is also regional. Some places small talk might be discouraged at a store while other places it might be encouraged. The same might be for the subway, a restaurant, the bathroom, etc, depending on the country or culture it may be totally ok or exceptionally discouraged.

I mean, yeah? That's always been my relationships, I've only ever had pretty long-term ones.

Do y'all literally talk to your significant others about the goddamn weather or food every day?

Idk about y'all but in my current relationship I'd usually start with an in-depth analysis of some latest media I consumed or a geopolitical development, we'll be briefly reflecting upon developments in Palestine or Ukraine or UK politics or the latest on the US election while we share a couple Red Bulls and try new Elfbar flavours.

Sometimes this descends into a hearty debate on economics like whether increased taxation can raise the value of currency through demand creation (technically but it's not an effective measure), however eventually i will be pivoting into a technology I had learned about or historical context for some such, perhaps reflecting upon my cybersec exploits, relating to my independent study or my dayjob.

At some point she'd relate it to a material or technique she's been studying for her masters in material engineering, she'd remark on disliking inorganic chemistry, and we'd get into in-jokes, (latest being about Aerobiz 2000 for the Sega Genesis and my interest in the inner workings of an A320 and less than stellar business acumen) which will inevitably make us watch a video essay on YT or play a light game together like Life is Strange or HOI4 or even just listen to some music, later we'd order some Domino's Pizza and have some intimate times, a couple of nice sweet Barefoot wines and maybe a bit of Kinder Chocolate (not Bueno) for dessert later, we're asleep.

Sometimes we get nostalgic and talk about what life was like before we met on Tinder or talk about our future dreams, plans and aspirations.

I think smalltalk is okay when you're in a work meeting and you just want the coworkers to go away as soon as possible and let you get back to sleep, but I'd never date someone who is so socially inept that they would resort to smalltalk.

Breathe, son.

Absofuckinglutely. This is what I do, and what she does, though our methods of exploration vary.

Plan...?

Yeah, that's pretty much how it looks like for me