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submitted 1 month ago by spujb@lemmy.cafe to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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this site is actually so mean literally all the time so im posting this here to let you know you’re not ‘too sensitive’ or something for not wanting to deal with attacks on your gender/body/intelligence for daring to exist and have fun online. the freaks that act like this are NOT the norm (they are just the loud and obnoxious minority) and it’s OK to take your time in recognizing this. <3

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[-] someguy3@lemmy.world 70 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lemmy has a serious "I'm 14 and very badass" problem. Take the tone way down y'all. You wouldn't act like this in the real world.

[-] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 1 month ago

I live in a highly repressive area where Trans people are seen as nonhuman beasts, I cant even be myself irl.

[-] Kalkaline@leminal.space 18 points 1 month ago

You don't know me.

[-] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago

The internet has that problem, but Lemmy is the best at combating that stuff I've seen so far.

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[-] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Can you pinpoint a post which demonstrates this? I'm mostly on blahaj Lemmy communities, but I'd like to see your perspective.

[-] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 6 points 1 month ago

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Say that to my face

[-] workerONE@lemmy.world -1 points 1 month ago

Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6’4″ 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Please tell me this is pasta. I was confident my sarcasm would have been clear.

[-] Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 1 month ago

I had half a thought to reply in some sarcastic and mocking 'I'm angry' tone, but no, you're correct. This tweet is correct. I enjoyed this chat and hope you have a great day. Why would I even pretend to be angry about your post? <3

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 18 points 1 month ago

thanks stranger bestie, see you in the parking lot after bagging <3

[-] pinkystew@reddthat.com 28 points 1 month ago

NO I DON'T FUCK YOU DIE IN A FIRE

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 15 points 1 month ago

aw man :(

[-] pinkystew@reddthat.com 15 points 1 month ago

..now I feel bad ...sorry ....i regret it

[-] ruckblack@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 month ago

Yeah, the site is mean. The doomerism is also really strong here. I should probably just try to cut out social media entirely. It's not good for me.

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

I know a lot of Lemmy turns their nose up at it because it’s not FOSS, but Bluesky has been legitimately chill IME. The subscribable block/mute lists and the way blocks break quote posts are a game changer. People who are chronic assholes end up shouting into the void and people who aren’t chronic assholes get the picture real quick

[-] ruckblack@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

I'm annoyed with how mastodon works and I don't think it's ever going to change, so I might give bluesky a try.

[-] Jentu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago

Embrace tradition. Time to bring back phpbb into the mainstream.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 1 month ago

lemmy was like the poison that got me on the road to recovery lol. after years of reddit i was literally one of the first ppl here in the post-api wave, i couldn’t give up scrolling but was so mad about the ethics. switched instances a couple times but in the end you just realize that social media as a concept, even if it’s technically hosted non-profit, is still structured after a model that was created to serve capital. lemmy still enables toxicity in the same way reddit did, and i was just like damn why would i invest time in a platform that doesn’t even make me happy haha

[-] Salvo@aussie.zone 16 points 1 month ago

Most of the arseholes who are arseholes on the Internet are arseholes I’m real life too.

People who chat at the grocery store, or wish you a good day when you are waking in the street are also usually people who are friendly and helpful on the Internet too.

People who get angry because someone else has the gumption to share a road with them are also the kind of people who abuse other Internet users because they share a server in an online game, social network or forum with them. They are also the type of people who get angry queuing at the supermarket and abuse retail workers.

[-] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I have a blocklist of 35 people and this site has gotten way more positive and nice. It’s sad that it’s come to blocking so many people though.

All it takes is one arsehole in a nice thread to start insulting people and the whole thread often crumbles into a negative shitshow.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 4 points 1 month ago

my blocklist grew to like over 80 then i was like, damn shawty do you actually like being here?, then i left 😅

[-] FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Your instance has a good head start on me by blocking ML. A third of my blocklist is from said instance 😂.

[-] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 month ago

I act with complete silliness and tomfoolery. Some people hate that and get angry at me, ofc im too busy hugging my Blahaj to care :3

[-] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

🤗🦈🥰 <3

[-] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

[-] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Probably the prevalence of american political posts + the fact that america is fighting a nazi cancer at the moment. A certain directness about a truly dogshit situation is fitting, and insisting on a rock-hard-pleasant tone with atrocities can border on lying.

It doesn't tend to happen on non-political memes, goofy stuff, or on (kinda surprisingly) Linux communities (mostly)

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 6 points 1 month ago

definitely happens on non political memes and linux communities in my experience :(

[-] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz -2 points 1 month ago

There aren't any non political memes. Maybe the toxicity comes from pretending there are

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 2 points 1 month ago

[-] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If I wrote comments like I chat in a grocery store queue I'd never write a single comment.

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 3 points 1 month ago

if i wrote comments like i chat in grocery stores id have 2.86k comments

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Solid perspective.

Do you happen to know where they keep the hot sauce? I can’t find an employee anywhere.

[-] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Isle 6, between the tchotchkes and the ramen.

But the best stuff is next door at the Ace Hardware. The ones by the Duracell batteries are best

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Ah my favorite four products all on the same shelf. Alkaline, alka-seltzer, alka-sauce, and alkahol

[-] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Hehehe, I like your funny words, magic man

[-] shatteredsword@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

“What are those, just like really big limes? Haha”

[-] zoostation@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm not going to start being an asshole out of nowhere but I will go after an asshole and tear them apart. I will never be mean or rude to someone who seems nice. And of course I won't make fun of someone's looks or weight or gender or race. But I do make a lot of jokes on other topics and people probably perceive me as rude sometimes when I don't intend it. I don't think it's wrong to be a looser version of yourself here than in real life. Within reason.