I keep my cats indoors to keep them healthy and safe, and prevent the decimation of local birds.

You should keep your cats inside

My cats are not allowed past the catio because they will either destroy everything in sight or be destroyed. If you love your cats, don't let them roam.

My husky screams when I say "space camp." I think she wants to be an astronaut.

I mimic their sounds and am not ashamed of it :-) Whether cats, dogs, or birds, or the pair of wild crows i feed outside, it doesn't matter. I even mimic the sound of danger that our wild doves make when they see a sparrow hawk. So, if i see one while hand feeding a dove, i point and make the sound and look up very obviously so they know there is one circling around our garden (but often they notice before i do).

I sometimes address my cat as “blessed child of Bastet”

Not pets, but I greet the wild birds around here with "Gmorning, boids" or something. The reason is simple: I hate being a bother, even to animals, and the birds are less likely to be scared and fly away if I speak to them.

Also when I lived with cats, no cat who was let out would ever forget to say "mrr", which I interpreted as a "thank you". Of course I responded to them like I would a human.

I sometimes call our family cat fat pussy.

When I take my dog outside and he shuffles around looking for the perfect spot to crap, I tell him to "get with the program." He seems to understand that I'm becoming impatient.

I've been known to tell my husky-mix "Return with the survey results" when I let him out into our fenced yard. Every time he goes out he seems to do a systematic grid search of the entire area.

Hey man I feel you. I should have added that I live rural and they are working cats as well as pets.

I'm sorry I caused you such anger.

Be well.

When my cat comes in, I always say "All hail the Cat King!"

EDIT: English not my native language. "Heil" was not intentional.