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Toddler Lawyer (lemmy.world)
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[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 54 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Defense Councel:

Objection, lacks foundation, irrelevant line of questions, this line of questioning will soon call for speculation.

Judge: Sustained.

Prosecutory Counsel: Why?

Judge: Don't make me hold you in contempt Mr. Toddler.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 38 points 3 months ago
[-] Hupf@feddit.org 12 points 3 months ago
[-] Bach37strad@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Something something mitochondria

[-] palordrolap@fedia.io 33 points 3 months ago

"I don't know"

"why"

"because it is not possible to know everything"

"why"

(infinite loop until toddler needs nap.)

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 months ago

"Look kid, you've pretty much reached philosophical bedrock here and you're going to need better questions to get better answers. Now go the fuck to sleep."

[-] niktemadur@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

(infinite loop until toddler needs nap.)

"The prosecution rests, Your Honor."

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Pssshhhh, more like until I take a nap.

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

I was this way, and then being an undiagnosed autistic 3yo plus 1 too many mild chastisings from my parents made me shy from talking for years. Engage them with a thought provoking flip of the question. "Why do you think food gives us energy?"

[-] Entropywins@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

A quick thought-provoking because is all I got.

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I don't think you're allowed to do that in court, though.

[-] RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 months ago

Somehow my children skipped this phase

[-] fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net 12 points 3 months ago

Yeah none of mine ever did this except MAYBE once or twice after toddlerhood, specifically to annoy me because they knew it was a thing

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I was definitely this kid. My mom still teases me about it.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago
[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago
[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago
[-] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

The answer to life the universe and everything

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I could tell you, but you won't like what you hear.

[-] HatFullOfSky@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

My oldest never hit this, but the younger one who is currently 3 basically matches this comic exactly

[-] someguy3@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

More entertainment up options now.

[-] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

Isn’t he so cute and itty-bitty in that over sized coat just makes you wanna prosecute whoever he says.

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

I often think I should offer the services of my toddler out for terrorist interrogations.

[-] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago
this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
538 points (98.6% liked)

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