Once you're comfortable enough with the person? It's like being with a best friend that you can be intimate with.

Really really depends on the person you are with. My first boyfriend was the my best friend, high school sweetheart, partner and the man of my life. He died when we were 23.

I dated other people after, even got engaged, and never had the same conection. One was too narcisistic so it would make me feel insecure and jealous, another was very calm but very differenr from me so it made me feel lonely and bored sometimes.

It's not the same experience everytime, but having someone say "I love you" and make plans for the weekend is really great

Started dating like 3 years ago. Talked to girls on some apps and decided to meet 3 of them in person. The first one I didn't really feel a connection with, she used her phone a bit to much and it sometimes got too silent. Neither one of us wanted to meet again. The second one I felt that I really care about and we actually met two times. But she was more distant on the second date and eventually told me she didn't want to meet again. I was devastated then but now I can see that our livets move at very different speeds, she needs time to think and wasnt ready to meet someone yet. Then I went on my third date. She and I talked about everything, she didn't say no to my silly ideas to just walk out into the forest and find a rock to sit and talk on. I had my first kiss that night and we have been talking every day for 3 months now. We are together now and the only thing i want is to be with her.

It starts by being the best feeling in the world and then you just slowly get used to it and it becomes quite mundane. Some people intrepret the honey moon period ending as the amount of love decreasing but in reality it just changes. This happens to everyone. Also, the first time is usually the best feeling one, especially in the beginning, while probably not objectively best of all the relationships you're going to have.

I went the friend-to-romantic-partner route, so it was pretty much just like hanging out with any other friends.

I was a late bloomer and I still feel like my brief brush with religion in my late teens and early twenties crippled my social skills for over a decade. Having said that, I managed to have a few awkward dates here and there and fewer still became relationships. Something they don't tell you is that 80-90% of dates are awkward and terrible, but for many people including myself, when it clicks, it clicks.

I knew a woman at work once. I always stay very professional at work but I am friendly and nice to people. One day we were doing some bullshit paperwork and had a really good conversation and at some point when we were smiling and laughing I felt the vibes. We got a beer with friends after work. A few weeks later she got fired for some stupid shit but we stayed friends and dated for a month or two after. In this instance dating was primarily fun and adventurous. Getting to known each other etc. Bonus points because she had a cool roommate and her ex who came by for the kiddo once in a while was a cool too.

Another women I dated was already a longtime friend of mine. She went away to college and I saw her rarely for years. When she moved back, I invited her to hang out and we hit it off. We had a lot of fun and I felt the attraction, so I asked her out on a date. Because we had such a strong friendship beforehand, dating her felt like hanging out with my best friend, but more romantic.

For me, the thing that changes it from friend hangout to a date is:

1. Intention, everyone has to know it is a date.
2. A date typically has some hint of a potential romantic and or sexual interest, even if it's subtle, not stated overtly, or vague. Having said that, it's better to be bold and clear. When I first started dating I used to go in slow for the kiss when the vibes were right. I never misread the vibes too badly, but it's 2024, so now I always get verbal consent before I even kiss someone. I was honestly surprised at how often "I would like to kiss you," or "would you like to kiss me" gets a yes. If you get a no, most people are thankful to have been asked and that somewhat counteracts any awkwardness from being shut down.

First one, a lot of toxic codependency. Second one, is much slower and calmer.

A lot of careful communication since you genuinely care about them. It's not avoiding or not saying things but it's saying it because you love them and you care about how they receive it.

Also, someone's excited to talk to you and see you?? My bachelor days didn't prepare me for this.

The process of dating is inherently complicated just by the fact of coordinating the schedules of two people, more if one or more of the people involved have kids.

You can't just drop everything and choose to go do something, you have to plan it, in advance, with another person.

Planning something fun can often take all the fun out of it, you have to work harder to have fun.

But in the end, the shared experience of planned fun is worth it.

Yes, he was the popular boy in my class, a new kid (at the time the relationship started) whose family is Malagasy (like me, except my family is Kiwi, and I have always been the unpopular girl). Our relationship started as a joke (and we probably would've never sought each other out ourselves, me being aceflux and him genderfluid), but the joke forgot its identity and it became serious. I've grown to feel special as a girlfriend, it's like having a counterpart that makes up for all your shortcomings.