Guys: Take a shower, shave and put on clean clothes before you meet with someone.
Hygiene is very sexy.
Gonna preface this by saying Ive got no issues with you or your comment, I recognize what community I'm in.
But advice like this is so frustrating for actually normal people who are single and are struggling to find a partner. It implies anyone who can't get a date can't do so because they're the equivalent of a stinky smelly mongoloid who's been wearing the same underwear he uses to clean his pits for 3 days.
Again your comment is perfectly valid given the context. OOP probably left out that he tipped his fedora to the m'lady because of all the dandruff that fell off when he did it. But being told in normal communities to "just take a shower bro you'll get a date ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ๐๐ฝ" feels like being corrected on your spelling, in a math test, when you spelled the word correctly in the first place.
/rant
Edit: oof. So I upset some people with this one, obviously, but the only people I care about that I upset are the ones who pointed out the unfortunate term used above. As some had guessed I had no idea of it's origins. (Ironically, I noticed the similarity when my phone generously assumed I wasn't a bigot and tried autocorrecting to something.. marginally less offensive, but in the midst of typing out a rant I didn't think twice.)
I'm leaving it so others can see my mistake and hopefully learn from it. But when selecting fun and frivolous language, I'll make sure to remove that one from the pot.
Oof, also I laughed at your example at the bottom. This actually happened to me in highschool and it still haunts me.
I had one geography and pre-algebra teacher in junior high that was like this. She practically refused to give out 100% on any assignment or test, and as far as I know no one ever could. She took the time to pick out any little flaw. Word misspelled? You lost points (granted, that's fair for place names in geography). Handwriting not typewriter-perfect? You lost points. Didn't quite erase something to her standards? You lost points. Didn't format a handwritten page precisely as she defined (and she was extremely precise)? If you're lucky you lost points, but she often threw those away with a zero. Used the wrong type of pencil? Allegedly she could tell if it wasn't written with a #2 pencil, and would throw the it away if it wasn't. The best grade I got in either of those classes was 99.5%. What did I miss? One of my 'i's had the dot slightly touching the rest of the letter. Real Umbridge character personality-wise too, more than anyone I ever met.
All this allegedly to prepare for college. So it was a shocker when I got there find out that I could straight up get 2/10 correct on a calculus test but still be graded at 80% because (read this in a slavic accent) "you made mistakes in algebra, but you know your calculus". Go figure
Dude, the use of "mongoloid" is not cool.
You know what it means, right?
The double whammy of referring to a specific syndrome and racist origins
Take a shower before you see a sex worker.
I WINT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WORKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WIRKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WORKER I WINT SHOWER BEFOR E SEEING A SEX WORKER I WONT SHOWER BEFORE SEEING A SEX WOREE
I do that and still no dates, now what?
Did you remember to be attractive?
Well I am not overweight, and am tall. Attractiveness is really on a scale and can be in the eye of the beholder, but no I would not consider myself attractive or unattractive, just plain.
I feel the need to put this on its head.
What if the girl, after whatever time they spent relaxing realized she truly enjoyed his company and decided she wanted to keep him as someone she can spend time as a person and not a sexual object?
Well then neither of them is getting what they want.
Sad but probably true.
Well I guess he will find out based on whether or not she ever contacts him again.
Really though this does seem like the kind of thing where "it's because you're sexually repulsive" only seems like the obvious explanation because of insecurity brainworms.
It's a very common conclusion among men. Before I finally met my gf at 23, I thought the same thing. Getting friend zoned left and right and pushed away while everyone else is whoring all day everyday for as far as you can remember makes you feel like an expired rotting piece of shit. Sentences like "You're too good, you deserve better", "Someone must like you, you're great!" or even sentences from older women like "Oh, girls must like you." just start feeling like thinly veiled insults, like everyone is making fun of you, even if they aren't.
That's gotta be rough. Those comments sound like they carry the same accidentally-condescending energy as telling a confused kid, "Oh, don't worry. You'll understand when you're older."
I mean, yes that's probably true, but it sounds dismissive of one's concerns and does nothing to allay the frustration they're feeling now.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure what the right response would be. Or maybe there simply isn't one?
Yea no clue, it's tough. What finally helped me out of it was me being lucky enough to have a good friend that connected me with a like minded soul. Turns out I was just surrounded by assholes and broken people and needed that jump out into a different community. It's why I feel especially bad for these incel types, because I fear if I didn't have that friend, I'd be the same a couple years later. They feel abandoned and they might be right in a weird twisted way. But without a healthy path to improve and actually achieve meaningful connections with people, it's just fucked.
I think a common conclusion in general, I dated a woman once whose mind went to that explanation constantly for all kinds of things and it was basically always a distorted picture of reality. I think people just don't get needed validation due mostly to arbitrary bullshit and the world sucking and that makes it easy to buy into toxic self hating memes.
If that was the case, why bother with all the build up? And why sugar coat it? Even sex workers are in their right to deny a costumer.
This ^^^ It would also hurt a lot less, than letting the poor guy guess what she's thinking.
i will never understand the inability for people not to have amazing sex with their friends
Anon couldn't have sex with a friend because anon wanted to have sex with a prostitute.
Considering that this kind of soft unspoken rejection is the same tactic women use to lose pickup "artists" and other perceived predators or just unwanted people, if in anon's shoes, this is the moment I'd consider running away for my own peace of mind. In my experience, it's a good idea to not stick around people that reject you on the basis of being "too good".
I'm betting that this is exactly what happened. That girl, in all probability, has been treated like meat most of her life. There's a nontrivial chance that she's a victim of some kind of abuse.
So having a real connection to someone who doesn't just treat you like meat, and is only interested in what she can do for/to them, is probably very different than the interactions she normally has.
It's sad, but likely true.
Anon seems not to have understood that a prostitute is not a vending machine
Am I not supposed to be sticking my dick in vending machines? o.0
I'll risk Japan has a vending machine to cater to your specific liking.
An OF girl, who absolutely knows other OF girls, thinks you're nice and fun to be around, despite your obvious horniness?
She's gonna hook you up. OP fucked up if this is where he gave up. A single guy having an OF girl as a close friend is how you end up being a stage cock for her friends to suck, and you'll get a cut of the dough.
Bro was this close to getting paid to have his dick sucked, but he had no patience.
That woman dodged a lot more than bullet there
Aww, anon was so close to having his first friend.
Anon needs a sight of the long game.
Lesson learned, don't smoke weed
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