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submitted 1 month ago by Maven@lemmy.zip to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] Rooskie91@discuss.online 5 points 1 month ago

The only time Jesus used violence was to kick a rich guy tax collector out of a temple.

[-] KittyCat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Depends on the book actually! In the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, Jesus kills a kid for bumping into him and then blinds his parents for being mad. It was considered cannon up till the 4th century.

IV. 1 After that again he went through the village, and a child ran and dashed against his shoulder. And Jesus was provoked and said unto him: Thou shalt not finish thy course (lit. go all thy way). And immediately he fell down and died. But certain when they saw what was done said: Whence was this young child born, for that every word of his is an accomplished work? And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.

V. 1 And Joseph called the young child apart and admonished him, saying: Wherefore doest thou such things, that these suffer and hate us and persecute us? But Jesus said: I know that these thy words are not thine: nevertheless for thy sake I will hold my peace: but they shall bear their punishment. And straightway they that accused him were smitten with blindness.

[-] jonne@infosec.pub 1 points 1 month ago

And the parents of him that was dead came unto Joseph, and blamed him, saying: Thou that hast such a child canst not dwell with us in the village: or do thou teach him to bless and not to curse: for he slayeth our children.

Damn, the justice system back then was way more forgiving.

[-] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 1 points 1 month ago

I hate people who translate the bible but use this fucking archaic way of speaking, are we seriously trying to make it as hard to read as possible just because it's old? İmagine if they intentionally used gen z speak with modern literature, fuck you

[-] Lumisal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Here you go, gen z* version:

So, this one time, Jesus was walking through the village again, right? A kid ran up and accidentally bumped into him, like full-on shoulder check. Jesus was not having it and straight-up said, "You’re not gonna make it to wherever you're headed." Boom, the kid dropped dead. People who saw it were like, "Yo, who even is this kid? Everything he says actually happens!"

The dead kid’s parents came for Joseph, all mad, saying, "Bruh, you can’t stay in this village if your kid’s out here cursing people and getting them killed. Like, teach him to chill and bless people or something!"

So Joseph pulled Jesus aside, like, "Hey dude, why are you doing this? People are mad at us, and they’re gonna come for us!" But Jesus was like, "I know you didn’t come up with that yourself, but fine, I’ll let it slide for you. Still, these people? They’re gonna get what’s coming to them." And just like that, the people accusing him went blind.

[-] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

Can you point to a reference? I don't think you are recalling the story correctly.

They were money changers (currency exchange) and merchants, not a single tax collector.

Jesus cleansed the temple twice, it wasn't a single event.

Matthew was a tax collector, one of his key disciples. Jesus was also compassionate towards Zaccheus, who was a wealthy tax collector. Zaccheus was wise enough to repent from his over-taxing of citizens, however.

References:

https://www.gotquestions.org/temple-cleanse.html

Zaccheus story - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2019:1-10&version=NIV

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 month ago

I did not realize He did it twice! Did He use a whip both times?

[-] in4aPenny@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I like to imagine he used an AK47.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

The same one he and Santa used to then fight the Romans.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

All heroes hate insurance men.

[-] Oka@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

"We're not trying to help people, Bob. We're trying to help our people!"

[-] stephan262@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Unless I'm misremembering, the insurance boss was mentioned as being in hospital and then never again so he could have died from his injuries.

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

They show him all bandaged and in casts, and then talk about having to pay him off. Yes, he could still have died, but that was not the conclusion they lead you to believe.

[-] Mellow12@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Bob Parr not ‘Paar’. Easily mistaken if you’re from Russia or not from a western country.

[-] Kintarian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Um, but, private industry does everything better than the gubment. Right?

/s

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

" He is getting mugged!

-Well, let's hope we don't cover him."

[-] frankyboi@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Remember it was an ancap movie.

[-] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com -1 points 1 month ago

nearly killed is some distance from killed.

if he had killed him the story would have been different, no ?

[-] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

If he had killed him it wouldn’t have been a children’s movie, lol

[-] Strocker89@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

How funny would it have been if the next scene between Bob and the government agent took place graveside 😂

[-] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

Different as in less palatable to children.

[-] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee -2 points 1 month ago

And he doesn't.

Major part of his being a hero.

[-] amorpheus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Literally threw him through some walls. Probably couldn't be sure his boss would survive.

[-] Contentedness@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 month ago

It's definitely a major part of being a super hero.

[-] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Choking someone is not that far from killing them; the intent is definitely there

this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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