How about direct communication? Saying you don't like talking about non work related stuff at work is not rude. Saying you are not interested in a conversation right now is also not rude.

Rude would be to disregard your request and tbh I find the methods you tried quite rude.

There’s something called “The Grey Rock Method” you may want to check out. This link is just from a quick search, there may be better sources out there:

https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method

I'm torn because I want to tell him to leave me alone, that I don't care about his life, but considering the 'offense' this seems too much and knowing me I'd immediately regret it and feel bad about it.

So instead you'll like youre ruder than you are, hoping he will eventually get it.

You don't think weeks of having to do this is making you feel worse than perhaps one night of feeling a bit sorry after telling him straight on?

And I know he will appreciate it eventually if the direct reaction isn't such. You will finally make sense to him. If you're being rude, ignoring him, why don't you understand that might make him want to bring you to a normal level of social contact. That he feels he's done something wrong by just being a chatty person.

Maybe just tell him you're sorry but you're not as chatty as him and would like to focus.

And yes, I have also done that to a worker. Told her I'm there to work, not to make friends. Kinda cold? I don't think so. Colleagues, not friends. Co-employees can be friends but don't need to.

first you tell him you don't like to exchange more than a few sentences per person. then you tell him, he exceeded his limit for years, so you will not talk to him any more, except if it's a real business matter. then you don't reply, unless it's a real business matter, for the next few years.

Buy a Subaru and a nice pair of Doc Martens.

!dull_mens_club@lemmy.world

Seems like you tried all the regular tricks in the book. Try telling your manager or HR and see if they can do something about it. You want to work and the company does alse but this guy clearly doesn't.

The easy way: one word answers to everything. This can include just saying yup or nope to every response. I am the kind of person to lean in on obnoxious responses while very much not paying attention.

The hard way: get HR involved. Inappropriate attempts to get close to you count.

Example of solution 1: https://youtube.com/shorts/KdmMiZqskzc?si=AxAqzBSU3nYYvOS2

Have you tried gushing?

Not just responding, and having a busy conversation, but just not stopping, even interrupting him.

It wouldn't be my first choice, I prefer direct honesty, but you already tried telling him you're working.

You could try even more directly saying that you don't want to talk casually at work, but that requires not doing so with anyone, or you might as well just tell him you don't like him and be done with it that way. Which is an option. He is someone you don't like, but I assume you're wanting to avoid that because it's work, so that's the absolute last option.

Whenever he asks you something start off by staring at him with a blank emotionless stare for an uncomfortable amount of time, (20 or 30 seconds or so) tilting your head from side to side while you make eye contact with him and finally give him a simple one word response. If he continues talking keep direct eye contact and start making confused expressions on your face (like why are you still talking to me) then do everything you can to make the situation as awkward as possible. If he starts talking about himself or family or whatever make sure you interrupt him as much as possible even talking over him if necessary. Make up a weird uncomfortable story or start rambling on about some wild conspiracy like birds aren't real, the illuminati are controlling people's minds or maybe see if he'll come with you to a scientology seminar, the weirder the better.

Just tell Brendan to shut up.

"I get frustrated if my attention gets pulled away from what I'm doing, that's why I focus on my current task instead of talking to you guys"

"Excuse me"?

"Pardon"?

Blank look. Shrug, turn around, go back to reading.

I dont have an answer for you sorry, but i might be able to point you somewhere you might find inspiration to find your own answer

If there is a lemmy equivalent of the subreddits maliciouscompliance, pettyrevenge, prorevenge, or nuclearrevenge or you are willing to go look at the originals, theres a lot of stories that are entertaining and will be a mine of ideas

Fight fire with fire. Figure out which topic he doesn’t care about, and start talking about it all the time. Like, literally all the time when he is in the vicinity.

Could be a new hobby like flying a kite or an obscure interest like the history green colors used in the textile industry. Ideally, you would pick something you can imagine yourself being passionate about. Look up some videos on how autistic people talk about their favorite topic, and you’ll get the idea.

Offend him, who the fuck cares. Dude obviously doesn't give a shit about your time and energy, or boundaries. He doesn't respect you, so he deserves no respect in return.

Holy shit, this is the very same people that later will tell you about how they will "eat the rich" and "deny, despise , defenestrate" (or whatever) every CEO they encounter.

All the meanwhile being incredibly socially stunted and so utterly incapable of even being direct with someone and talking over a perceived issue at work, one of the safest environments they'll have access to for human interactions.

Totally unhinged, dissociative and disconnected from reality behavior.

Are you lactose intolerant? Can you fighter or the ideal amount of milk to drink such that you get the death toots but not the vanilla sharts? Next time he stops by, send him a stinky. A really foul one.