Comic book movies.

They have dominated the box office over the last 10-15 years, there are infinity reboots/origin stories, and all of them use the ”man, I really hope the bad guy doesn't use the super heroes loved ones as hostages" as a plot point. All of them are so predictable.

If you think Ernest Cline's movie is cringy, wait until you read his poetry. Absolutely one of the worst piece of writing I've ever read.

And it only gets worse from there.

Ready Player One was so bad, but this is a rare instance where the book is worse than the film. At least the film has visuals the book is just cringe and rememberberries.

Hackers. The reason why was at the time I was and had been a hacker for over a decade. A real one not some half assed pretty boi with issues. It sucks so bad. It was so fake.

The princess bride, mostly because everyone my age won't shut up about it. By the time I saw the movie (I think I was 16?) it was like watching a string of cheesy memes.

Also, it's a wonderful life is so frustrating and depressing, the "happy ending" just doesn't cut it.

I know I'll get shit, but Pulp Fiction sucks. It's not about anything, Bruce Willis adds nothing to the film at all, and it's confusing to watch without having any real reason to be or payoff.

The worst part is that it's one of those things where if you don't like it, the fans just belittle you and claim you're "Just not smart enough to get it man." or they'll be passive aggressive about it. "Oh it's okay, my ditzy blonde girlfriend doesn't get it either." or "Not every movie can be about guns and shit, I know you stopped paying attention after the opening."

It's a shame because it was hyped up to me as one of the best movies of all time, and I try to watch it thinking this time it will click, this time I can see what the fuss is about.

And each time, it's just as terrible as I remember for all the same reasons as last time.

While on this subject It's a TV Show and not a movie, but I legitimately believe Andor is one of the worst pieces of Star Wars media ever created and if given the choice I'd sooner watch the Holiday Special because at least it's entertainingly bad. Instead of being a god damn hour straight of characters marching like they're at a military parade just to get to a boring shoot-out at a heist where everyone dies, only unlike when everyone dies in the heist in Rogue One, I don't shed a single tear because everyone involved with said heist has done absolutely nothing but bitch at Andor for not being "one of the cool kids" so if I'm feeling any emotion it's annoyance that my time getting to know these losers was completely wasted and relief that such unlikable characters are dead.

But hey, at least it only ruined Cassian Andor, it could have ruined someone who's been in more than one movie like Book of Boba Fett did. Ya know what Boba Fett's "book" is called in this show; Character Assassination: A How-To Guide

I don't know how you ruin a character who's done nothing but say "He's no good to me dead" in one movie, and have a retconned-in-most-continuities death in the next, but leave it to Disney's second Dark Age to find a way. But hey, at least every one agrees that Book of Boba Fett is trash instead of kissing the ground it walks on like Andor. So there's that.

Andor is a show so bad that there's a character named Cyril who's entire existence is dedicated to scenes where he eats Cereal. Absolute trash.

Anyway getting back to how the pulp of orange juice is more fun to watch than Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino is a hack who sucks at every aspect of film making that isn't writing dialogue. Resevoir Dogs was okay though.

Forest Gump. The 1994 Best Picture nominees were some of the most highly competitive the Academy has ever had, and they went with the one that was just a straight-up terrible fucking movie. It has no value except as nostalgia bait for Americans and propaganda for those who want to believe in the myth of American individual exceptionalism.

Its musical score is also probably the worst thing I've ever had the misfortune of performing in an orchestra. Dull and repetitive.

And its most famous line is straight-up bullshit. I've heard the book does it differently, but the movie puts "something that kinda sounds deep to a 14 year old" over a level of rationality that stands up to 20 seconds of thought from an average person. A box of chocolates tells you precisely what you're going to be getting.

Spirited Away

No consistent world, cringy behaviour of the main character, love story out of nowhere, you can't have a plot twist if you didn't have any previously established lore. It felt a bit like a dream that was trying to take itself seriously as an actual story.

Oh I have another one. Thor Ragnarok. People loved it because they liked the Thor character and found his earlier films too dull or something, but I loved that they were unapologetically serious about themselves, using comedy in ways that felt very authentic to the characters.

But Ragnarok? It came out later the same year as this excellent essay about bathos, and it was dripping in it. I was hyper tuned to the problem with bathos, and it leaned even harder into that took than nearly any other MCU film did.

What sucks so much is that it had the bones of a really good dramatic story. The Bruce Banner/Hulk storyline had built up over multiple previous films, and come the climax of this film it's established that he's in Bruce form now and has enough control to stay that way, but if he transforms into Hulk it'll be a big deal and he may never be able to be himself again. So they arrive in Asgard at the climax of the film and it's pretty urgent. In a dramatic moment you can see him steel himself to make the sacrifice; he jumps out of their aircraft onto the rainbow bridge, clearly intending to transform into Hulk to fight Fenris.

…and he splats. Faceplants on the bridge. Still in human form. It's played for laughs. The ultimate conclusion of Hulk's story in this movie and probably the most important moment of his arc over the entire MCU to this point, and it's undercut by a joke. Not even a very funny one. A slapstick joke that would make Charlie Chaplin cringe.

And it means nothing, because the very next shit, he's transformed anyway and throwing Fenris around like a doll.

Not to mention it undermines the verisimilitude of the movie. I can suspend my disbelief in these movies pretty hard, but Bruce Banner, in human form, is meant to be painfully average, physically speaking. He should have died from that fall, given he didn't transform. That's certainly not the worst thing about the moment, but it is was the sprinkling of salt on top of the wound that just made it that little bit worse.

That moment was the worst bit, but the film as a whole was full of lazy humour and bathos, and it was really just the worst example of what was wrong with a lot of MCU movies at the time. I was shocked to hear so few people came away disliking it in the same way I did.

Mortal Engines. I have not read the source materials.

Amazing concept, fantastic visuals, weak story, weak characters. Apparently just accidentally spliced in the end of Return of the Jedi instead of finishing the movie.

The English Patient. Sex in a tub? That doesn't work!

Snowpiercer. The movie was just a weak attempt at socio-economic metaphor, with an absolutely terrible premise, bad effects, action sequences shot mostly in the dark, weird pacing, and goofy characters. It seemed like a live-action Anime, and I hate Anime. I sat through that movie, the whole time wondering how and why it got such great reviews.

Oppenheimer.

It's probably an interesting movie, but holy shit each shot is less than 3 seconds long and it just cuts around to different camera angles every 3 seconds for 2 hours...

Not only was this making me feel physically sick and disoriented, but this erodes tension in the film and is completely unnecessary. You don't need 14 shots of someone walking down a damn hallway or having a think, you need one (1).

Take all that shit out and you're probably left with a story worth actually telling.

The nightmare before christmas. IDK maybe i've been exposed to it too much but I have never gotten an ounce of enjoyment watching the movie. The songs are lame and the plot is mind numbingly simple, you know so the kids can follow. So many people in my life just love it and want to make watching it every year for both halloween and christmas a tradition thing. I don't want to be a kill joy so I power through it every year. Im so tired of it though, How many more times do I have to hear that barrage of stupid disney sing songs just to spend time with my loved ones? "WhAt's ThiS TheRes WhitE Stuff EverYWHEre!" Fuck you jack skellington you sheltered prick. Its called cocaine and its how santa and his elves get shit done. Now travel around a few other holiday trees and do some world building so Disney can pump out a half baked sequel else they might go for a live action remake starring photorealistic cgi stitched together corpses.

Lucifer. My sis loved it and I hated it with a passion. I don't think Ellis is any good in it and they're just relying on him (and the other actors) being hot instead of actually telling a decent story or making enjoyable characters.

Any marvel movie. I just do not get the appeal. The only people who like it seem to like it way too much. Most of them are also grown ass children.

Kill Bill. Boring as fuck.

The Crow. I refuse to elaborate.

Pretty much anything from Kevin Smith except Mallrats and even that I'll admit was dumb but I liked it as a young teenager.

Deadpool. Juvenile humor from the king of "I'm in a movie because I'm unbelievably charming"

Not a movie (well maybe there is one?) but I absolutely hate The Trailer Park Boys. I just don't get it. It's not funny, at all. It's not my thing at all. I've been hated on for this opinion but I don't care, it sucks.

On that same note, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Same reason tpb sucks to me.

Lord of the rings. So boring.

This thread is fun though. I enjoyed reading everyone's opinions, especially those I disagree with.

Napoleon dynamite was fucking garbage and don't think it should have ever existed. No humor and barley anything. Honestly feel like the movie rubber was better

Dumb and Dumber.

I don't find people mentally limited or crass humor to be funny.

And Jim Carrey is despicable. He was even before supporting an anti-vaxxer.