I too wish for a game like this but apparently it's impossible to do it, either due to lack of vision, budget or expertise (or all of the above). Starfield sounded perfect on paper and it was a good studio to attempt it but in the end it was just a bland, soulless, boring mess of a game.

As for my suggestions, I just got smaller games, not larger ,and in that vein honestly: FTL. It's a 2d sprite roguelike and yet it's the best game at giving me the feeling of being a scrappy starship captain on the run, trying to scrounge together resources in order to complete my trip despite overwhelming odds.

The second closest game is Starbound but your mileage will vary, it feels unfinished and there is no real story to speak off, although the ship you continually improve and build in over time as you explore the universe does start to feel cozy and homely. It is also basically a worse Terraria in space so if you don't like gameplay like that, skip.

If you like Mass Effect you ought to try KOTOR1 and 2, oldies but goldies, but they do have the same weaknesses you already outlined for ME, it's very much a set story.

Haven't seen anyone mention Starpoint Gemini. Warlords was probably the best iteration. Kinda like Eve but single player and a half way decent story.

SpaceBourne 2

SpaceBourne 2 is a single-player, open-universe RPG and third-person shooter game with an abundance of features, including role-playing, mining, trading, piracy, crafting, and deep exploration. The story picks up where it left off in SpaceBourne, but now the player's goal is to build a new empire in the galaxy, with the methods of doing so being completely up to the player.

Duskers. A game that seems to be inspired heavily by the aesthetics of the first Alien movie. Instead of one terrifying xenomorph, there are four (?) different kinds all working independently to exterminate humanity. You're at the point in the story where they've basically succeeded, and you're trying to figure out what the heck happened. You get to do some basic scripting as well!

I know there has been some controversy around it, but Star Wars Outlaws might be worth a look.

I vote for Elite Dangerous...

It's 10,000 miles wide and an inch deep, but that's still a lot of water.

Still in early access, and not very pleasant to looking at first glance, but Ostronauts is a start from scratch go anywhere and solve problems space game. On my first play I was pulled over but the cops for salvaging without a license only for the cop to write me a ticket and then start flirting with me. I got his number. Make sure you can cover the cost of the ticket and docking fees before you dock or they won't let you undock. Flight mechanics are very real and you quickly feel like your piloting a space jalopy. RPG system is great too. You unlock skills that level as you use them and need to repair components as they can break down. Slow development by I think one guy, but a work of love for sure.

Star Citizen is the only modern game that I've got any hope for. It's still years from being a proper game, but in the meantime you can have a surprising amount of fun in the persistent universe, assuming you can run it at acceptable framerates.

It gets a ton of hate, which I think is pretty unjustified given that it's the single most ambitious gaming project ever, and the progress they've made with in-house tools is frankly amazing. Just don't go dropping hundreds on ships and you won't have anything to regret.

I enjoyed Starfield, but it wasn't anywhere near good enough to put the same hours into it as most Bethesda games. It had such potential, but they dropped the ball.

Not really what is looked for here in most ways, but there's Parkan.

I have little to say other than it exists.