I don't want this feeling to be boredom because that feels like a moral failing. It's thinking of people I care about and not being able to muster up enough compassion to give them my undivided attention. I can't sit through a phone call and I wish I could.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with that, it's actually a very common experience to people with adhd or audhd, and if you don't want to call it boredom, you can call it stimming or dopamining. It's not a moral failing on your part, it's just the way your brain works.

The result is the same: the current activity doesn't stimulate your brain enough, so you go and look for something else to provide that dopamine hit. I don't really have any advice, I struggle with it, too... But at least accepting yourself and being upfront about it with people you care about helps understanding that you mean no disrespect by it, or that you don't care less for people or things just because your brain chooses to focus on other things.

Forcing yourself to focus can be very painful, and even traumatizing, so watch out. I know because I tried for years, and it only ended with me burnt out and unable to live without masking, making me feel like shit all the time. Try to be gentle to yourself, and try to get advice by ND people for ND people. I've tried so many techniques for focus and concentration, and while they've worked for my NT friends, I can't get to stick to them, they just make me feel like more of a failure, which is also showing some of that internalized ableism I have to work on.

EDIT: I've been reading unmasking autism lately, and it has a lot of good advice on the whole "give yourself some grace and understand you're not a lesser person for having a disability", even if adhd people is not the intended audience. Maybe give the audio book a listen.

Sometimes when speaking to those I care the most about, my brain turns to fire as I stop myself from finishing their sentences. Sometimes conversations are so boring I have to do something, so I might fidget, rub my finger nails (instead of biting them, nail polish made this much better), or only make intermittent eye contact.

I have different types of music depending on the task I'm trying to complete, some tasks/activities I'll have a podcast on for. And sometimes I try and give myself time to be "bored" (really its being alone with my thoughts and not relying on external stimulation).

I have adhd. We all find ways to manage our symptoms when they are negatively affecting us and our relationships, and talking about it can help. So it might be worth getting assessed if thats possible for you. Regardless of the results, they should help you figure out how to manage things better.

I think spending a lot of time on algorithm driven social media can also influence you to the point that you might exhibit some adhd tendencies as well.

Bonus: issues with focusing is a key component to ADHD. If you're looking for strategies with organizing, time management, etc., you can use ADHD strategies even if you don't have it.