379
TankieDB (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 months ago

LIES!!! ALL LIES!!! everyone know that postgres is the TRUE revolutionary sql! lol

[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 months ago

I think Postgres could win the MisSql pageant

Snowflake and DuckDB would be up there doing 10 different talents, then Postgres would just stand there and say “uh huh, I do that too” to thunderous applause!

SQLite would win the swimsuit competition but then struggle with concurrent writes during talent show and get disqualified. The judges would always get its name wrong.

Big query would get caught copying Snowflake and bribing the judges. Presto/Trino would require a full team to get dressed for the costume contest and miss the event.

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.

[-] davel@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

Oracle’s PR machine & dark money.

[-] qaz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

MySQL wouldn’t win any single event, but would get high scores all around for unknown reasons.

There are a lot of companies running XAMP / LAMP stacks, for some reason.

MongoDB would be at the front desk trying to convince the judges to let it enter, and while doing that would accidentally drop a suitcase filled with business and government secrets.

But haven't you heard? It's webscale!

[-] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Let's not lie to ourselves now. The winner would probably be a SQLite flat file serialized into a postgres text column.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

and db2 wouldn't even be invited to compete. lol

[-] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 27 points 2 months ago

I know it’s a meme, but if you didn’t know already MySQL was named after the creator’s daughter My

[-] qaz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

And MariaDB was named after his second daughter right?

[-] breakcore@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes, and another project MaxDB, is named after his son Max.

[-] Midnitte@beehaw.org 3 points 2 months ago

And MariaDB is named after his other daughter 😉

[-] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago

Isn't OurSQL just MariaDB?

[-] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago

No, that belongs to Maria

[-] deathmetal27@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Well, MariaDb is a publicly traded company. So it's "Our SQL" only if you buy stocks in them.

[-] data1701d@startrek.website 13 points 2 months ago

MariaDB for the win!

[-] Mwa@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago
[-] Rom@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago
[-] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

This would be great news if it would happen, and especially if it brings back allowing the engine to be embedded.

Postgres is better, but embedded Postgres isn’t something that’s going to happen.

this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2025
379 points (94.4% liked)

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