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submitted 13 hours ago by POTOOOOOOOO@reddthat.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Every drop of water, crack, ant, royally freaks me out at this point. I can't afford to rent. I own a shitty house that is a fixer upper. So frustrating.

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[-] PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 hour ago

So many people who are mentally and cognitively bankrupt own houses. They never do any maintenance on them, or if they do, they never do it right. And yet, their houses aren’t (always) falling apart.

Houses are more sturdy than our anxieties convince us. Fix things little by little as they come, prioritize what comes first. Your house won’t fall apart or blow up. This is what I tell my wife when she gets nervous about something creaking.

[-] dao@lemmy.ml 1 points 27 minutes ago

Like the others said, try to do the stuff on your own. YouTube has helped me tons with that but I still don't touch electrical work. :)

[-] dumples@midwest.social 9 points 1 hour ago

Remember this is a marathon and not a sprint. So think in long terms for fixing things. Even if you sell the house having something done correctly will increase the value. Fix something and maintain as best as possible to keep it working or as high value. This feels best if you do it room by room so you can enjoy the things you fixed.

[-] Tyfud@lemmy.world 1 points 53 minutes ago

Learn how to fix things in your house and it will give you the confidence to stop worrying about every little thing or sound.

[-] renlok@lemmy.world 11 points 2 hours ago

Learn/Improve your DIY skills, most things that need fixing around the house are actually pretty simple to do yourself

[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 3 points 1 hour ago

Well. No, not really. Owning a house is just stressful, period. And sometimes really expensive things happen that you couldn't foresee.

For ants, you want to get food-safe diatomaceous earth, and a bulb-style dispenser. If you can tell where they're coming from, blow some diatomaceous earth in there. It's completely safe for people and pets, but will kill insects. There's also some non-toxic treatments for wood--Nissin Boracare, for instance--that will help prevent termite, ant, and powderpost beetle infestations.

[-] MoonMelon@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago

Personally I haven't had luck with diatomaceous earth and ants, they seemed willing to sacrifice a few ants to push a trail through the powder and then they were fine (I had to admire this strategy, something I would have never considered). I have had great luck with those ant baits that are a mix of sugar water and borax.

[-] serenissi@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago

Invest in basic tools and have good relations with local repair persons, try to learn from them too as they fix stuffs. Hands on expertise is more helpful than theoretical how to knowledge. Also invest time in designing fail safe insect and paste management and plumbing. Bit of initial work usually pays off later.

[-] AidsKitty@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

Start watching DIY vids and learning how to fix as much as you can yourself. Lowers repair bills and anxiety.

[-] CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work 8 points 3 hours ago

It beats having a landlord.

[-] Stegget@lemmy.world 1 points 55 minutes ago

This is it for me. There are a lot of things that aren't awesome about owning and maintaining a house, but not dealing with a smug, PITA landlord every month is absolutely worth it to me.

[-] TheOSINTguy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago

I don't see enough people mentioning this, but preventative maintenance can save you a lot of money.

Another thing I would recommend is to be familiar with the systems in your house, what fuel does your furnace use? What type of water heater do you have? how old are the fuses in the fuse box? Does your electrical panel have a surge protector? Do you have a water pump should your basement begin to flood? Do you have a generator panel? Knowing how these work can save you money on trouble shooting.

For example, if you live in an area with lots of squirrels, it might be worth putting up chicken wire on any entrance to the attic from the outdoors. Ex: air vents. If I would have done this, I would have saved $900 from chewed wires that could have started a fire.

[-] multifariace@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Do a task everyday.

Making sure to keep working on a fixer-upper by doing something everyday will help reach the goal of maintaining rather than falling behind. Focus on things that can get worse faster. Leaks and shorts would be a top priority that should not wait. KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MAIN WATER AND POWER. Make sure this can be done quickly.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 18 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

I remember going from being super excited that I owned the walls and fixtures around me to then realising I owned the walls and fixtures and no-one else was going to fix them. Not everything needs doing now though, so separate the issues into things you can live with, mid-term renovations and now things.

Oh, and always remember you’re not paying off someone else’s mortgage anymore!

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 8 points 3 hours ago

That's how i deal with it.

It's not causing more damage, it can wait.

It's not someone else who's benefiting from my hard earned money

[-] BlueSquid0741@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 7 hours ago

I can only say, learn how to fix things. Like, everything. Because everything is going to fail at some point, and that $4000 quote to fix it doesn’t look so good.

Rodents or possums in the ceiling, call the local pest expert for advice. They’ll usually give you that because they don’t want to come out and get in your roof stage themselves.

Snakes? Don’t go under the house in hot weather. Keep trimming the grass/weeds close the house especially if your kids play there.

Invasive root systems like white poplar near the house? Either have a professional kill and relive the tree, or did up the roots every time you see a shoot come up.

Generally look around the house. Think about how each thing could fail (gutters, roofing, stairs, electrical, plumbing, paint, windows). Think of worst case scenarios for those things and what you would do if that happened. Prepare for it whether that means having the number of someone who can do it, or how you can do some DIY repairs, even if it’s temporary.

Finally. Bush fire. Are you prepared? Do you have a plan? Do you have timeframes for doing your bush fire preparations every year? Talk to neighbours and find out their plan and see if something similar works for you. You can stay at home and fight fires, but the mental toll of doing that can be crippling and possibly never recover. My plan is for the family to leave immediately, and I gather all our important stuff and follow as soon as possible.

[-] Churbleyimyam@lemm.ee 6 points 6 hours ago

My advice is to spend more time out of the house! The more I stew in the epicentre of the entropy and problems the more overwhelmed I feel by them and the harder it is to tackle them. Getting out can help to get some perspective and make you appreciate what you do have.

[-] gazter@aussie.zone 23 points 9 hours ago

Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something. Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it's easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don't worry about it. If it comes back? Get it fixed.

Writing shit down helps. I've got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It's shitty how long it is, but because it's written down it's already half taken care of and I don't have that random stress of 'oh good that's right there's a leaky shower' and having to remember to do that thing.

List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it's worth it.

[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago

If you have a damp moldy spot on a ceiling, that's likely leaking from the roof. Roof leaks can be very difficult to find; if you have asphalt shingles that are starting to curl at the corners, then it's probably just time to replace them, along with flashing. Thankfully, depending on the pitch of your roof, re-roofing isn't that awful. It gets ugly it you have a really steep roof pitch, or if you have an flat EPDM roof in a brick home.

[-] CmdrShepard42@lemm.ee 71 points 13 hours ago

Not really much advice other than being proactive about issues, but it is funny how concerned you quickly become with all types of water once you own a home. Rain intrusion, drainage in the yard, leaky pipes, dripping noises, frozen pipes, gutters, humidity, water heater, storms, etc, etc. It's a real menace and so are squirrels (as I also found out after purchasing a home).

[-] youngalfred@lemm.ee 27 points 12 hours ago

This right here. Every running water noise your ears perk up thinking that it's the worst. Then you realise it's just the dishwasher.

[-] myersguy@lemmy.simpl.website 19 points 11 hours ago

Did you hear that? I feel like the toilet flushed funny

[-] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 8 points 11 hours ago

I just fixed the dishwasher that is original to the house. I've never used a dishwasher before(ty technology connections). my god is it loud and keeps giving me a heat attack even a week after using it, but I can't argue with clean dishes.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 10 hours ago

You certainly can argue with them. It's only a problem if they start to argue back.

[-] paequ2@lemmy.today 15 points 12 hours ago

how concerned you quickly become with all types of water

LOL, yes! 99% of my problems these last 5 years have been related to water. It's really made me want to learn more about plumbing.

[-] DistressedDad@lemmy.ca 9 points 12 hours ago

I pulled the hydrometer out of my cigar humidor to became more aware of the dampness of my basement. I also spent over $1,000 on evicting a family of raccoons out from under my backyard deck. So yeah, I get it HAH

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

Did you have to hire a lawyer to serve them papers?

[-] Sonor@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago

They just ate it as well :(

[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 11 points 9 hours ago

Oh, the stress? I remind myself that renters in my area are now paying twice what my mortgage is, and I bought just three years ago. It's a quick boost, and believe me, I've got at least a dozen fixes myself to do that I don't have the energy or money for.

If that's not enough, take a few weekends to at least hit what you can. Make a list and tackle things slowly as to not get overwhelmed. One by one, step by step.

For example, I used a week break to paint the kids room and it feels like a brand new home, even patching cracks and dealing with water damaged ceiling drywall (was minor, and the roofing was already fixed before I moved in). The rest of the house needs it, but it still made me feel like I did something.

[-] Azal@pawb.social 10 points 9 hours ago

When you hear a loud noise just think to yourself "Please be haunted and not something expensive..." it's what I do.

[-] kane@femboys.biz 2 points 6 hours ago

Not a home owner yet, but I just purchased a home and waiting on the handover.

This post has been really helpful! Certainly in writing some stuff down to remember 😅

[-] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 18 points 11 hours ago

Paying more for good quality tools to fix things properly can seem like a luxury initially, but they're worth it when you're 10 years down the line and still able to use the same set as if they were brand new.

[-] Habahnow@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 hours ago

Idk. I now recommend getting cheap tools first until they either break( from usage) or their bad quality is a noticeable and active hindrance. From there buy better quality. I also suggest buying ALL the tools you need. Sometimes, you think you can make it work with some alternatives and don't want to get the specialized tool. I feel that I usually end up spending more time dealing with the problem and getting more stressed out.

Example of the latter: dealing with my drum breaks with just pliers. Uninstalling was a breeze, but installing was a huge pain. The cheapest specialty tools made my life so much better, and used them several times. I notice their janky, but they still work good enough to get the job done.

[-] OhVenus_Baby@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 hours ago

The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.

Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.

[-] nis@feddit.dk 5 points 9 hours ago

Good example.

In a similar vein: setup alarms. Smoke detectors is an easy one, but also water leakage detectors. If feeling adventurous, maybe logging of water/power usage as well to catch slow leaks.

[-] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 28 points 12 hours ago

I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.

Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.

Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.

Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.

Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.

Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.

But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.

But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.

You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!

[-] laranis@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 hours ago

Great advice. Here's another hint for first timers: you're going to get it wrong. Spend half a day replacing a faucet, following all the instructions and the collective wisdom of YouTube. Turn the water back on and... drip, drip.

Patching drywall, fixing a drawer slide, replacing a loose electrical outlet... No matter how much you read or watch there is some finesse to each. Practice and experience will make it so you get it right the first time more often, and then when you're an old person like me you reach a point where you can pretty much do it better than the fly-by-night contractor you'd hire.

One more piece of advice. Don't mess with live electricity. Wall current can stop your heart instantly or start a fire in the middle of the night. Turn off breakers and be diligent about tightening connections and keeping things to code, but don't be too afraid of it. A little bit of awareness is all it takes. And the first time you turn that breaker back on it may pop, then you'll see what went wrong and never make that mistake again.

I know I said one more, but here is one more "one more". Hit yard sales or estate sales for cheap tools. You'll have to do this proactively and not when you actually need them. Usually you can pick up stuff for pennies on the dollar. An old caulk gun, adjustable wrench, half box of drywall screws... All good to pickup on the cheap.

I know DIY isn't everyone's favorite past time, but after the first few things you tackle you might find it actually enjoyable. I know the combination of saving money, securing my home's integrity, and completing a job well done is something I look forward to.

[-] droplet6585@lemmy.ml 14 points 12 hours ago

no perfect fix

And if you need convincing, go measure some parts of your house. Peak around in places and see how its actually assembled compared to how you thought it would be. Then realize it hasn't fallen over yet, so maybe perfection doesn't matter.

[-] manualoverride@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

I’ve just been making a wardrobe in an alcove where in the space of 1200mm they have managed to be out by 40mm (1.5 inches in 4ft for our American folks) Trying to be within 1-2mm and deciding on referencing a side wall that’s curved but making the room “more square”, and having a variable depth wardrobe or making something that looks right but that I know is a parallelogram. Either way a future guy with a tape measure will ask “what idiot built this?”

[-] baronvonj@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

We all want to believe that these rooms actually follow geometry with things like parallel/perpendicular walls.

[-] hex123456@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 hours ago

And if you are not 100% confident, take lots of pics as you go. And every step, do something that you figure you can undo. Worse case scenario, it goes back to how it was…

[-] Lennnny@lemmy.world 13 points 11 hours ago

It gets boring to worry. Now I just view it as a cosy box that I'll occasionally have to patch up. Also, getting comfortable with DIY, especially that first scary 'dive in' moment where you have to cut the wire, drill the wall, or pull up the board. Over time it all just gets as normal and run of the mill as cracking an egg for an omelette.

[-] plz1@lemmy.world 18 points 12 hours ago

Try to only tackle one project at a time. It gets exponentially more stressful trying to juggle a bunch of incomplete projects. Also, you'll never be "done". That's not the point. The point is shelter and comfort.

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[-] Eryn6844@beehaw.org 1 points 6 hours ago

Tequila and weed?

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago

i see repairing my house as a money saving hobby, got lots of plumbing, drywall, lumber, electrical, network, and car repair tools in the shed, garage and laundry room. i prefer to watch a diy vid on yt than any fiction, i guess my frugality drive me

[-] fubarx@lemmy.ml 6 points 11 hours ago
  • Practice triage: start with small, achievable projects that can be done on a weekend. Don't get overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself. Not every problem is immediate or needs fixing.

  • If you have access to a local tools library, avail yourself of it fully. The staff are a treasure-trove of wisdom and knowledge. If not, talk to the oldest, crotchiest person at your local bardware store.

  • There are so many single-use tools out there (favorite one is so you can unscrew the faucet bolt under a sink). If not, see if there's a community online board and post a request.

  • Vintage appliances, windows, doors, etc are cool. A little elbow grease and they're in good shape. Junkyards and recycling centers are a treasure trove.

  • If it involves anything hazardous or too heavy (gas, electricity, foundation), bite the bullet and seek professional help.

  • Ants and cracks are small-fry. Baits and fillers are easy fixes. Focus on big ticket items. And remember, some things are best left alone (see triage, above).

[-] droplet6585@lemmy.ml 5 points 12 hours ago

shitty...fixer upper

You have the best kind of house! Since its market value is already low you don't have to worry about all the stupid shit people fret over when their house is too valuable.

What's leaking?

How old are the cracks? If they're old, then whatever shifted already happened and no longer matters. Just keep an eye for new ones. Like a casual eye. Don't obsess over it.

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this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
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