362

"The truth is, if Americans just had proper access to lightweight cosmetic products capable of hiding blemishes, eliminating uneven skin tone, and highlighting natural complexion, measles could be eradicated.”

all 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] otacon239@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago

Ate the onion. Full bite and all. Satire is dead.

[-] Walican132@lemmy.today 9 points 1 year ago

Same. I was about to ask who doesn’t have access to concealer. Damn it’s been years since when got me this good.

[-] drtaco@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

Me too. But in our defense, it wouldn't be the stupidest thing he's ever said, had he actually said it.

[-] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 37 points 1 year ago

Thought this was real for a second

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Just wait a few more seconds. Chances are you’ll be right soon.

[-] Sauerkraut@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago

It isn't far from Trump's official position that diseases (like covid) are only a problem if we test for them.

[-] SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago
[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Didn't see the community and came very close to sharing this as if it were real.

[-] tonytins@pawb.social 10 points 1 year ago

Swear, I had to do a double take on the source. xD

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 year ago

I hate that I had to check the source... You shouldn't have to check the source on a headline like that :(

[-] match@pawb.social 8 points 1 year ago

I'm sick of my onion-or-not dilemmas being resolved by looking at the community name. Can we get a c/maybetheonion?

[-] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago

Concealer is made with seed oil.

[-] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

Wait, no horse dewormer this time?

[-] WaxiestSteam69@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

It's impossible to enjoy The Onion now.

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I see theonion... I still don't BELIEVE its theonion... fuck this timeline

[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

it does fix one of the symptoms yes

[-] upandup@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

I wish someone would “cure “the United States of RFK Junior

[-] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

And you can buy it from his wife.

this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
362 points (98.9% liked)

The Onion

7272 readers
203 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS