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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by x4740N@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not a typo, but as a waiter I told a woman about our Cedar Seared Caesar Salad. Except I didn't say Caesar, I said Semen.

Cedar Seared Semen Salad. Oof.

Edit: Just realized the tongue twister was actually worse. It was Cedar seared salmon, Caesar salad. Whoever chose that as a menu item was some sort of sadist.

[-] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago
[-] Luke_Fartnocker@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Minus the semen, I'm sure

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Could I get extra dressing?

Yes, but you'll have to wait about ten minutes...

[-] veroxii@aussie.zone 47 points 1 year ago

I've seen Retards instead of Regards at the end of emails. Kinda changes the tone of everything before it.

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I am highly regarded

[-] sonovebitch@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In french, via SMS, to a girl I was flirting with as a teenager:

"T'es où?" (Where are you?) got auto-corrected to "T'es nu?" (Are you naked?).

I don't remember what her response was, but I remember we didn't end up dating.

[-] beforan@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

This reminds me of my practice French oral exam at school, so not a typo but still:

As part of the conversation my teacher asked what sort of things I liked to read, and I decided to talk about a then popular technology magazine called T3.

"T trois" sounds rather like "Tais toi" (shut up), and she was a bit taken aback!

Thankfully though we learned not to use that in the real exam.

[-] sara@lemmy.today 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The worst typo I ever made was texting my friend who is a Black woman that she needed a bigger TV. Unfortunately the b & n are right next to each other on the keyboard and I wrote one of the most offensive words ever. Even though it was an innocent mistake, I apologized profusely to her.

[-] EarlTurlet@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 year ago

This is a good reason to use Dvorak

[-] treadful@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 year ago

Would probably just go crawl into a hole after that.

[-] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago
[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[-] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

That URL seems to get censored across instances because your link also just replaces the offending word with "removed" for me. Everyone else, if you see "removed" or something like that in the above link, just replace it with the offensive word this discussion is about; or just do a web search for yahoo finance tweet n word to find various articles about it.

[-] drkt@feddit.dk 30 points 1 year ago

A person was flirting with me and I meant to say "Go on." but I typed "Goon." and ruined it

You should have invited them to your goon cave

[-] morphballganon@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My wife called her friend fat instead of far (she lives far away)

A coworker once e-mailed about their adjusted shit (shift)

I'm constantly worried I'll e-mail about outstanding bitches (batches)

[-] EggsCurrently@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 year ago

French speaker here: Began a message over Teams to a coworker with "Hey, salut!" and wrote "Hey, slut!" instead.

I have never edited a message so quickly in my life.

[-] scutiger@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Oh, putain!

[-] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago

French word for typo is "coquille" because long ago some newspaper printed "couille" instead, which is slang for testicule.

[-] decended_being@midwest.social 8 points 1 year ago
[-] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Instead of coquille

[-] JubilantJaguar@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Turns out to be légèrement plus compliqué but the story is good. https://oparleur.fr/coquille

[-] jafea7@feddit.nl 24 points 1 year ago

Messaged wife while on a trip in UA: "Spent the night in a little girl in basement"

"girl" and "hotel" are a remarkably similar swipe movement on an Android keyboard.

[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I don't live in the US so I don't know what "UA" means

[-] jafea7@feddit.nl 8 points 1 year ago

Two letter country codes

I don't live in the US either.

[-] canihasaccount@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I do but I don't know what that means either.

[-] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 year ago

My family name is Carvalho (oak). I asked my then 8 years old son to sign his passport and he wrote “Caralho”. I’ll let you search that on Google with the safe search OFF.

[-] PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago
[-] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

Actually caralho means penis.

[-] PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Heh, that's not much better.

I just asked Google. Bad Google!

[-] BloodSlut@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

When i was in primary school I was searching images of different types of pasta on the school computer for a project and accidentally typed 'pene' instead of 'penne'

I dont think safe search was a thing at that time

[-] londos@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Not even a typo, but had a boss would would use "F U" as shorthand for "follow up." Was always shocking to see emails saying "I will F U on Monday."

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

That's kinda hot

[-] shartworx@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

I have typo'd hotfix as both hotdix and hotfux. One letter can change everything.

[-] Astroturfed@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

One time I copy pasted a horrific NSFW subreddit to my sister that I was making fun of the existence of to a friend just before. That count? It did not fit into the discussion we were having at all and she was horrified. I can't remember the name of it now but it was like "fapcaves" or something where people literally post up pictures of their huge disgusting masterbation stations they make.

[-] pdxfed@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

"Warm Retards,

Xxxxx

[-] norske@lemmynsfw.com 12 points 1 year ago

I had a co-worker whom I accidentally renamed to Cunthia in several large distro emails.

[-] GopherOwl@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I bought a rotisserie chicken and was going to use the meat. Texted a friend that I was "boning a chicken."

Deboning is a word. I swear.

[-] Lemmylaugh@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

I'm going to the store to buy some chips and human dip

[-] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I told my father that he might like a certain ice cream flavor because it has come in it.......was supposed to say cone

Movie night. I asked one of my friends to bring cocporn.

(It was meant to be popcorn)

[-] vodkasolution@feddit.it 6 points 1 year ago

Not mine but from a colleague: years ago on a very big signboard in the center of our city, promoting a gig with a very special guest at the time (still very good tho), tech house dj Satoshi Tomiie, he wrote Satoshit Omiie...

[-] SpaceXplorer_8042@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

I saw this from somewhere else, a person was in a multiplayer, and in the chat they were trying to type "edits", but made some other typo in that, which auto-corrected to "drugs" before they sent it. So the message turned to "Tbh I make drugs."

[-] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

My workplace has a program that will pay for your college courses, so I signed up for a certification course at CUNY. I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork for my workplace and list the college multiple times. Well, the letter T is right next to the letter Y on the keyboard, so I accidentally put CUNT instead of CUNY in one spot. Thank God my boss was cool and just thought it was hilarious.

[-] Lemmylaugh@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

I'm going to the store to buy some chips and human dip

[-] x4740N@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

In guessing you accidentally posted this twice because your lemmy app said it timed out when it didnt

this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
77 points (96.4% liked)

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