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Happy Balloons (spaffel.social)
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[-] Bosht@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

'sure that happened' but moving on from that and taking it from a comedic stance: The absolute chaos of balloon harnessed roadkill just floating into traffic idk, fucking amazing mental picture there, lmfao. Or just dropping in front of a school bus and splattering on the windshield, children screaming, etc. There's def a couple comedy sketches that could be done there.

[-] killingspark@feddit.org 1 points 1 month ago

So, Sir, you're trying to tell me the deer that's lodged into your grill was already dead and "floated" into the road. Sure. Let's go down to the station for an extended drug screening.

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

I wonder how much a weather ballon could lift?…..

[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

So I had to look. A 1200g (weight of the balloon) can lift about 12 pounds fully inflated. Most road kill you see are does, and they weigh probably about a 100lbs. We’ll figure you’d need some extra lift so if we went with 10 balloons that should be enough. Problem is I could only find 1000g balloons. Had to redo some calculations but I think it should be able to lift about 7.5 lbs give or take. So to get to the 120lbs of lift we’d need 16 balloons. The balloons are over $100 and you’d need 16 of them, so you’d need almost $2000 worth of balloons. And not to mention the helium which back of the napkin calculations we’d need about 1800 cu ft of helium. Given the data on price I found for spot delivery you’re talking likely another $2k for the gas. So for the low low price of $4000, you could really make somebody really confused when it lands in there yard.

[-] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 points 1 month ago

Now I need to know how many dollar store balloons it takes to float a raccoon.

[-] lath@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Somewhere between 500 and 2000, or more depending on weight.

[-] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah I knew anything bigger than a squirrel would require something ridiculous. I'm thinking even a squirrel would set you back a bit given the scarcity and price of helium. The balloon is the cheap part.

[-] lath@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Helium is portrayed as second most abundant element in the universe. Not scarce at all. Our ability to collect and make use of it, that's scarce.

A squirrel would probably need about 100 balloons.

[-] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 1 points 1 month ago

Second most abundant doesn’t really convey how much more abundant it is compared to other elements.

About 75% of all the mass in the universe is hydrogen, about 23% is helium, 1% oxygen, and that leaves just 1% for everything else.

[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

There's a lot of optimization that can be done to make OEM raccoons flight worthy.

[-] lath@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Yep. We can place them on a diet, shave their fur, pump them full of helium... We have the technology.

[-] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

...I need to get funnier coworkers.

[-] JustARegularNerd@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Can you imagine the confusion of a dead animal just falling in your front yard and witnessing that? This coworker's spawning a whole ass religion

[-] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

The gods must be crazy

[-] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

I didn't understand any of that.

What is a wet specimen? Wouldn't it take a bunch of balloons to float roadkill?

Why is a wet specimen and flying roadkill similar?

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

A normal-size balloon of helium can lift about 10 grams. Hares can be about 4 kilograms. Totally doable but that's a lot of time, balloons and helium to just waste!

Anyway, here are some more species and approximate adult weight when alive:

  • Bug (windshield): 0.1 g
  • Frog: 20 g
  • Mouse: 20 g
  • Snail: 25 g
  • Hedgehog: 600 g
  • Rabbit: 1 kg
  • Cat: 4 kg
  • Moose: 600 kg
[-] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 1 points 1 month ago

c/theyalmostdidmath ?

[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

You don't need a whole rabbit - half of a rabbit is just as much roadkill.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's why I'm listing the live weight. A dried-up rabbit carcass partially eaten by a fox will of course weigh less by a highly variable fraction, whose estimate I'm leaving up to you.

[-] kraftpudding@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

So you can lift a dead moose with 60 000 ballons?

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 points 1 month ago

Probably not, the cluster of balloons would be so big you'd need a considerable amount of string, and at some point the overhead will be so big that each balloon will add more weight than lift.

Still, a moose is probably possible, just with more balloons.

[-] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

Or you attach the balloons to each other

Or, better yet, one BIG balloon!!!

...what do you mean this already exists

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You can't infinitely chain balloons because the string has limited tensile strength. There indeed is a limit but it's pretty high, especially if you use a fishing line.

[-] masta_chief@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Hyatt disaster but for roadkill and balloons...

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago

Hyatt disaster but the aftermath is just a sad realization you can't recreate the movie Up

[-] celeste@kbin.earth 3 points 1 month ago

a wet specimen is a dead creature preserved in liquid

[-] Mpatch@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

I am so fucking tempted right now. To the point of maybe next time I'm at a party supply store. To purchase one of them helium to go tanks and couple packs of balloons. I know I stand a slight chance of absolutely fucking up some ones day. But before that dread will kick in.... I WILL be absolutely laughing my fucking head off with the guys to the point of needing to try to stop the funny because I'm gasping for air.

[-] Chocobofangirl@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

You're going to want to run a LOT of math before you finish ordering the gas lol. I'm thinking a bird would be optimal for the hollow bones, but it also wouldn't be confusing, just ominous. Mouse?

this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2025
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