I'm personally on matrix.org, but it's like with Lemmy. It's federated so you can do as you please. I think self-hosting requires a decent amount of resources, but I haven't looked into it all that deeply.

Sadly, it does. I hate fucking discord since I've started using it, the quirky facade and everything. We use it as webrtc and I would gladly drop it for anything less clown shoes, but the noise cancelation just works.

element feels very difficult to use in my opinion. screensharing is the perfect example, because you need to first initiate a video call by first choosing between to types of video calls. one type is video chat only the other has extra features like screensharing that aren't in any sort of tooltip. then you most likely will want to turn off your camera, and so does everyone else, then you need to click the screenshare button and there you go. i forgot to mention this all needs to be done with someone as you can't screenshare to a lobby, it needs to be part of a video call.

there are other things i dont like, such as the fact that on android i cannot adjust the volume of a specific persons voice while on a call with them (or at all as far as i can tell), and adjusting the volume on my phone doesn't affect the call volume either it is always max requiring me to hold my thumb partially over the speaker to keep my ears from ringing when talking this loud people. i also find that notifications especially for phone calls don't work well, and if 2 people try to initiate a call at the same moment it will not register either until you completely close the app and restart.

signing up and logging in, especially on multiple devices is quite annoying as you need to set up so many security features, which aren't necessary for those of us who aren't super concerned about the privacy of our gaming chats. it'a very frustrating to not be able to see your past messages when switching from one device to the other without dealIng with all the encryption settinga first.

discord, for all it's flaws, for the most part nails all the basic functions right out of the box. me, my friends regardless of tech savyness, and even my parents who are approaching 70 years old can use it just fine.