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Holy Electrolyte (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by pastermil@sh.itjust.works to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[-] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I mean, I'm not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.

Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn't even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.

[-] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

They've got holy water and holy wine. Why not holy beer.

"This is my piss, drink of it and be holy"

[-] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 months ago

I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless "true water", which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).

[-] smeenz@lemmy.nz 2 points 10 months ago

So is tap water okay, or only where it isn't fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?

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[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Uh, skeet skeet "enjoy salvation"

[-] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 8 points 10 months ago

More consequences than if it had raped some kids.

[-] justsomeguy@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

To be fair if you make an AI and ask it to be an authentic catholic priest you'd essentially have to reward it for such actions because it understood the assignment. Now why you'd make such an abomination in the first place that I don't know. The ways of the lord and all that...

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[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

I have been in IT for 20 years, have both a BS and MS in Information Technology, and I will never understand why EVERYONE has such a hard-on for AI; especially given its track record of “hallucinations”.

[-] BigMikeInAustin@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Aren't a lot of religions based on hallucinations that specific people have had?

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Goddamnit. Take my effing upvote.

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[-] hopesdead@startrek.website 6 points 10 months ago

Idiocracy 2, where the dumbest priest ever is sent into the future to save Catholicism.

[-] WetBeardHairs@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Someone get Mike Judge on the phone

[-] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 5 points 10 months ago

it's what believers crave! it's got electrolytes!

[-] raynethackery@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I mean, water has to be blessed by a priest first before it becomes holy. So, what if the only thing available is a bottle of Gatorade but you have a priest? Couldn't he bless the Gatorade so that the person could be baptized?

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

If you mix holy water with Gatorade powder does it become holy Gatorade?

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[-] Machinist@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Holy shit! This appears to be real and as funny as it seems.

Bot started offering absolution and such.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 10 months ago

Yeah they don't put him in the uniform anymore lol

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

wow they weren't kidding about civ7

[-] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Sippin on the haterade as usual.

[-] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Better move him to a new Parish before they figure what type of AI pornography he's into.

[-] theneverfox@pawb.social 2 points 10 months ago

You can literally do it with spit.... And that's not a hypothetical. You can do it with any fluid if necessary... How is this controversial?

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[-] formergijoe@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

That image makes me think he's going to get mad at me for pursuing a culture victory.

[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 2 points 10 months ago

"Is this about that little spying incident?"

[-] Ithorian@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

its not?

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Somehow, I imagine it similar to this

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[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It's got what babies crave.

[-] omnioki@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

“It’s what plants crave.”

[-] FrChazzz@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

As an actual, honest-to-God (Episcopal) priest myself, the idea of an “AI priest” is very troubling.

[-] wildcardology@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

The church will make an AI priest before making a woman a "priest"

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[-] Naz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

You got me to laugh, updoot

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this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
94 points (99.0% liked)

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