roll call

@SeventyTwoTrillion@hexbear.net

@Mokey2@hexbear.net

@FumpyAer@hexbear.net

@odmroz@hexbear.net

@Ufot@hexbear.net

@RonPaulyShore@hexbear.net

@Rojo27@hexbear.net

@Grebgreb@hexbear.net

@CommunistBear@hexbear.net

@TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net

@LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net

@quarrk@hexbear.net

@vehicom@lemmygrad.ml

@Aradina@lemmy.ml

@Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net

@LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net

@LocalOaf@hexbear.net

@Wmill@hexbear.net

@Cammy@hexbear.net

@bazingabrain2@hexbear.net

@DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net

@orshelack@hexbear.net

@kittin@hexbear.net

@MoonElf@hexbear.net

@SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net

@anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net

@Mog_Pharou@hexbear.net

@Moss@hexbear.net

@Hohsia@hexbear.net

@NewOldGuard@hexbear.net

@Xenomorph@hexbear.net

If anybody else wants to be added to the roll call, just let me know

Some Ls:

• Had to recover after throwing out my back so still no 225

• Getting more into a doomeristic funk about my job problem.

• I was informed that I have a bit of a mean, misanthropic streak, so now I want to make sure I’m being less of an asshole from here on out.

Some Ws:

• Wrote a short story, mostly for myself although I wrote it as if the reader was a child reading it in grade school. It’s called At Least I’m An Elf. I’ll spare y’all the wall of text but basically it’s a cautionary tale on how being a bigot means you’re going to be missing out and alienate even your current chud friends if they ever outgrow fascism.

• Goal is just trial and error and see what hobby lands

• I have an interview on Wednesday for somewhere out of state, could be my ticket out of Ohio.

Wins:

• started rollerblading and damn was that fun. It’s going to be my spring / summer obsession and I can’t wait to go again
• been very social. Met with friends, had a couple of dates. Rollerblading.
• gained clarity on what I want in life right now, taking good steps towards that
• huge salad for dinner

Ls:

• been smoking weed most nights to fall asleep and I can’t do that too much or I just get very sleepy, brain foggy, and lethargic, so starting tonight I’m on a T-break
• bike has been in the repair shop for like a week… I miss cycling
• I’m still working too hard and like why am I doing this for a huge corporation? Fuck em. I need to pull back.
• not reading

Goals for this week

• rollerblading, let’s fucking gooo
• more socializing
• get my bike back

This was a weird week. I was not too productive but also I didn’t think I regressed in any of my endeavors. I gym’ed, I ate properly, I hydrated, I read and I programmed all enough to say I did it but not enough to say I made a step forward. Sometimes that’s all you can do I guess.

My goals for this week are finish one of the tutorial video series I’m watching for Godot, do some interview prep work for programming jobs, and try and hit at least an hour of cardio a day (independent of whatever workout I have that day). I also need to get back into journaling I goofed and didn’t chronicle last week at all.

I also need to get back into playing fighting games. I have been playing too many FPS shooters that I don’t really enjoy but the boyz play so I play those to stay social. Need to play some Guilty Gear or Something

last week was alright, my fix on my radiator seems like it's gonna hold up. I'll know tomorrow when I test run it, if I finish today then I can see about going to a job fair tomorrow to find me a job. My hope is a boring forklift job where I can go work out after work at least until june when a possible training course opens up and I try my hand at it. I feel once I get any stable job I can try finally dating, I know I told the keep is just meet people but I always feel a sense of same for being neet if I'm being real.

Mixed week.

The good: Took most of it off from work, which was nice.

Streak of going to the gym at least 4 times a week continued. People are starting to really notice the changes in my body.

Spent some me time on one of my days off for the first time in a long time.

Went to my new primary doctor. Took me forever to choose one and I've got a good feeling about him. Tests I took were all good.

So-so stuff: Work situation still feels like its simmering under the surface. But I'm also changing my approach because I've really been thinking about how to accommodate for my team's needs. If I can take the pressure from corporate for a bit longer I may be able to do the best by my team.

The bad: The situation with my crush continues to be a bit volatile although holding steady. Biggest issue for me is grappling with how my [possible/undiagnosed] ND affects how I approach issues in relationships. In particular how my mind just randomly goes down a negativity spiral. A couple of days were not good at all. Overall I'm still climbing out of it. At least faster than I did in the middle part of last year when something similar happened.

After a setback over the weekend, I'm planning on quitting vaping again. I still have some nrt that will help with my quit so that's helpful. I just have to make it over three days to avoid the pangs of wanting to vape. I'll update this post tomorrow when I chuck this disposable out.

Other news I've started to cut back on coffee. I was drinking way to much, so I'm going from a whopping 8 down to 6, then I plan to tapper down even further to 4-3. The 6 cups I kind of need to get moving since I've been drinking coffee for well over a decade now and on top of the meds I take at night for my mental health making me all groggy in the morning.

2-4 cups sounds like a nice healthy amount for a professional coffee drinker, plus the price of coffee is astronomical thanks to trump.

Cleaned and rearranged my living space (yay)

Then fell into a doomscrolling rabbit role (boo)

Played some music and found a cool melody (yay)

Didn’t record it or write anything down (boo)

Journaled a little which helped with getting stuff off my mind

That ended with me spiraling on a past romance and wondering if I ended it for the right reasons (boo)

I’d say it was a wash

Back at the gym, the creatine I've taking has helped greatly but still hitting a wall since been cutting back on carbs. Next week prob gonna eat more and go harder to get them numbers up 😉 my muscles feel so strong rn

15 minutes of early morning cardio on bike, trying to form a habit with this. I could go more but I absolutely know myself and how I burn out quickly on something new. 15 will add up and make a difference over time

I absolutely locked in over the past nine days in a way never done before. I was studying every single day for my exam. Sure, sometimes I could barely read a few pages in a day, but I was at it every day. In the end I had read everything required for my exam and a bit extra. I had my exam yesterday and it went really well!

Ive also been cutting down on the weed and eating better and exercising more. Ive actually lost weight, which has been a goal for years that I've not achieved until now.