I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.

Can't afford to eat much, cuz SSI, rent increase. Kept having conversations in head, like "I can buy laundry detergent OR have food to last the month." I've lost 20 lbs past few months , after discovering how tasty white rice can be, with just a tiny bit of sesame oil, salt and pepper.

I've learned it's a necessity. If the art itself is good, well done, promotes positive thinking, etc, it's easy to look past the personal failings of the creator. Like joss whedon. Or the Harry Potter author. Nobody's perfect, and if I get super puritan about stuff, I miss out on a lot of good content.

If the art itself is shitty, offensive, hateful, harmful... nope, I'm not gonna look past that.

Roman Polanski is tricky. Dude was a horrible human. I don't want to like his movies, but The Tenant is just so darned good.

I have central auditory processing disorder, capd. Seeing a visual is instantaneous, clear, easy. People speaking is torturous, brain can't process, requires lot of work, confusion, translating. For me, visuals are external, but even external sounds become internal, physical. Activation of the limbic system, anxiety, fear, can lead to hearing voices. Prefrontal cortex, I think, is where brain stops internalizing sound as stress, fear. Why some people with adhd who hear voices take a small, mild dose of Ritalin at night. Ritalin means less limbic, less fear.

Not an answer to your question, but I think different areas of the brain process sound, visuals. Different mechanisms. I'd be interested to know if someone could shed light on this.

By the way: I read your comment about hearing voices. I've heard voices since childhood, was minor, infrequent. But recently stress, trauma I was having hearing voices all the time, speaking clearly. Persecution, terrorizing. Felt like I was going insane

Very specific, wouldn't have considered Buddhist podcasts. =) I'll try to find some.

I'm living in a shitty, unsafe area. DST in the fall means it gets darker sooner, not safe to go out, get stuff done. The pepper spray comes out earlier. By December, gets dark at 430pm, and I'm like wtf, seriously?

Where I live, there's a "church". Not sure how they managed it, but somehow legal. You show up, pay tiny $, like 5 or 20, join the church. Then you can buy mushrooms they grow themselves. Maybe something similar exists where you live?

Maybe see if there are rave dance, festival, parties. Burning man types, trance music tends to have more people prone to trippy drug use, mushrooms, ecstasy, etc.

The one time I did mushrooms, wasn't remotely scary. Spent entire party night in back room, on a round couch where partiers put their scarves, jackets, in utter sensory delight.

Was researching how to have a safe lsd trip few months back ago. I think I read about a phone app, or website, hotline. If you're tripping alone, can use it, someone remote will be there for session, help you feel safe. Can't remember name of it.

Went to a friend's house one day, she put salt and pepper on a tray of brussel sprouts, put in broiler for a short time. Changed my mind forever, delicious.

Entry hallway has black light tapestries. Very large tapestry of tree and fairy lights over bed. All 3 tapestries, $40 on Amazon. 2 framed paintings of day of dead women, got for cheap in local latino hood. A small USB powered projectors covers walls, ceiling with animated aurora borealis. The first 100 digits of pi, written with colored markers.

Wild zero, holy heck. Bizarre, surreal movie

Yakkity yak