To paraphrase one of South Park's more infamous jokes (because I'm not giving this shit any dignity):

Looks like we're getting a lotta sneer material here! The topic is "People Who Annoy Scoot".

Personally, my money's on them being thoroughly lost in the AI safety sauce - the idea of AI going rogue has been a staple in pop culture for quite a long time (TV Tropes lists a lot of examples), and the relentless anthropomorphisation of LLMs makes it pretty easy to frame whatever fuck-ups they make as a sentient AI pulling malicious shit.

And given man's long and storied history of manipulating and misleading their fellow man, I can see plenty of opportunity for fuck-ups baked directly into your average LLM's training data.

⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠘⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠈⢿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠑⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢲⣾⣿⣿⠃ 
⠀⠀⠈⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠖⠚⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿⠃⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠁⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠒⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠑⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢦⡀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣀⣀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣀⣽⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⣨⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢃⡤⠖⠒⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⡀⠀⠀⢀⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡁⠀⠀⠀⣹⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠙⠒⠒⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⡀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠲⠴⠚⠁⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⠤⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⠼⠇⠀⠀⠀

(your shocked Pikachu was borked, I ended up fixing it out of frustration. Took me a couple attempts - standard formatting fucks it up no matter what, but code's kinder to it)

And less time than her partner-in-crime, who went out of his way to show a complete lack of remorse and a strong willingness to reoffend, all whilst lying out his ass to basically everyone.

Honestly, SBF's antics probably helped make Ellison look like her role in this was much smaller than it actually was

oh yeah she got two years’ jail for her part in stealing eleven fucking billion with a B dollars

A slap on the wrist compared to Sam Bankman-Fried's twenty-five years. Turns out working with the feds, admitting your guilt and knowing when to fold 'em are pretty important when karma finally catches up with you.

or is there some weird-ass chess proxy-fixation among the rats that I have thus far been blessedly unaware of?

Gonna take a shot in the dark and say the fixation's from viewing chess more as an IQ showcase than as a game.

EDIT: have they considered offering a huge cash prize to anyone who proves them wrong

My mind's saying they aren't gonna give away the money no matter what, my heart wants to see transgirls bully these nerds mercilessly

what the heck EA forum doesn’t have a block feature? That’s just… ew.

You don't need a block feature if you're as insufferable as the average EA /j

Do you really think "cult" is a useful category/descriptor here?

My view: things identified as "cults" have a bunch of good traits. EA should, where possible, adopt the good traits and reject the bad ones, and ignore whether they're associated with the label "cult" or not.

Yes, this is real

Fucking beautiful.

I'd bet good money any judge reading this is gonna go "Yep, this kid does not want to change" and ramp up the sentence as a result.

Bold of a fucking Harry Potter fanfic writer to be giving dating advice