This is Brian Regan's joke from 1992

Great prose and truthful. My brain heard it in James Earl Jones’ voice.

No problem. The stable genius will just increase tariffs on china to 250%.

Wow, I'm officially at the "Abyss staring back" part of my life now. Serves me right I guess.

Ask Mrs. Owl for the real wisdom.

Well he didn’t go to cat college for years to be called MR Panko

Hey! I remember driving past that mural many times. I realize now I haven’t seen it in a few years.

Flagrant false advertising

The mvp is in the comments of the comments

I recognize the colors and shape of wal-mart signage. Our most shameful store. The labels are shopped but you can for sure get all that stuff there.

I signed up for the trial, and I keep forgetting to cancel.

Same. Trying to keep it that way