I've had to use this line too many times recently but:

How do you send anthrax through an electronic mail? And what is this nerd's email address?

Catholic guilt runs deep. I know a guy that came out this year at 31, which is fine, but I saw him kissing a guy when he was 18-19. He was engaged to a woman until 2022, too. He wasn't even under the influence, he just played it off as experimentation at uni which reaffirmed his straightness.

🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻🔻

Elon is such a gamer he added a frame delay to the brakes

As an American,

My condolences.

Taiwan

The Virgin Corolla:

Let's the driver survive crashes to see their families (gay)

Affordable (read: for poor people who have financial responsibilities)

Appeals to offline people (cringe)

Has tactile feedback on buttons/knobs for controls (primitive)

Normal transmission (woke)

Creator has never been featured on Rick and Morty or The Big Bang Theory (low IQ)

Safety features tested with "crash test Dummies" (dummy is already in the name)

Standard looking (normies reeee)

The Chad Bazingamobile:

Increases the chances of the owner dying and going to Techno-Valhalla (very cool and straight)

Prohibitively expensive (only for dank meme lords)

Appeals to the finest 9Gag connoisseurs (based)

Has touchscreens everywhere so you have to take your eyes off the road to confirm if you've changed any setting successfully (cyberpunk)

Transmission that will soon be renamed cismission in an update that bricks the truck if you don't download (tradpilled)

Creator has been featured on Rick and Morty AND The Big Bang Theory (high IQ)

Safety features tested on live Neuralink Chimpanzees (ape together strong!) Which have all died from brain trauma (but the logs say it happened way before impact)

Angular, straight lines (this car literally couldn't get any straighter)

Netanyahu's nephew, nicknamed "the dangerous sniper" has been killed in action, I assume by a Palestinian sniper nicknamed "the even more dangerous sniper"

Unfortunately, IDF soldier the "doesn't get KIA sniper", Yair Netangoogle is still at large.

I looked through your post history and this is actually the best thing you've posted. Unironically good post.

Right, but if you made a post about how Putin is a great leader or Republicans have better policies and child labour, homophobia and lower taxes on the rich are good on Hexbear you're going to get shat on in the comments if not outright banned.

Criticizing NATO is more pressing because online discourse is extremely pro-NATO. Reddit, for example, loves NATO expansion and loved when Finland joined. None of the disdain for NATO is praise for Putin being a corrupt nationalist.

Also anything involving Hunter Biden is funny. He's just an obscenely offbeat person. While the Trump children (except Tiffany and for now Barron) are just slimy sycophants trying to gain daddy's approval while swindling money out of MAGA morons, Hunter is doing cocaine and sleeping with prostitutes. Its never really in our discourse for anti-Biden posts to criticize Hunter, he's become a micro celebrity in his own right. If anything we literally like Hunter better than Joe

Uncovered over decades? It seems like decades in internet years but the first reports started in 2014, less than 9 years ago.