One night as I was in my room, my mom called me from the kitchen down the hall. As I walk down the hall, I'm pulled into the closet and a hand is clasped over my mouth to silence me. My mom whispers "Shhh, I heard it too."

TIL Edison didn't kill Topsy the elephant, but did electrocute a bunch of stray animals.

I bet you don't even call them Freedom Fries.

It wasn't the last time either.

The fact that places like can exist terrific me. The people that prop up those systems are absolute scum.

In your defense, my wife calls them Awful House, because every single time she's gone there, there's been something in her food (hair, bugs, bandaid).

Party of 'family values' ensuring families are torn apart! True patriots.

Oh. No, thank you.

Pill bugs and potato bugs are some others I've heard.

The more I learn about giant ground sloths, the cooler they become.

You shouldn't risk it, because no one knows how planes work.

Ivan is clearly joking, but for those that don't know, condoms DO expire, and will be more likely to break the more times passes. Similarly, doubling condoms makes them more likely to break.