This was going to be my suggestion. But even day time is good for this. I did security for 12 years. The vast majority of jobs are sitting on your ass watching movies on your phone. Couple tips if you go the security route:

Security is different in each US state (if you're in another country this whole thing is gonna be meaningless). In some states it requires a 40 hour course, in others a 10 minute training class. it varies widely, find out what your states guidelines are.

If you get certed for security, you'll never want for a shitty, low paying job. If you get fired, there's another job around the corner. But, contracts change a lot, so don't get too attached to any one post.

Gate guard is primo. You normally get a shack, you're normally alone, and you normally deal with people only during shift changes. That means 6 hours of an 8 hour shift are totally yours.

Hospital security SUCKS.

If you need extra cash, concerts and other events pay well, and you get to listen to live music for free.

If you live anywhere with Weather™ put a change of clothes, food, sleeping bag and other gear in your car. I once got stuck on a post, snowed in, for 4 days.

Keep shit in your car in general. A steam deck is awesome, a switch is good.

If you're on a post with another person, like 2 guards in a tiny shack for 8 hours, make sure you're upfront about if you're an intro/extrovert. Most guards have been doing it for long enough that they truly don't care if you don't wanna speak at all in 8 hours, they just wanna know up front where their plans should be. Nothing more irritating than thinking you're gonna have a friend for a day and end up bored because you didn't bring your stuff with you (which is why you should keep it in your car), or thinking you're going to have a day to catch up on school/video games/shows and you can't get 5 minutes to yourself because the other guard won't STFU

You are not a cop. Don't act like a cop. You aren't even Paul blart. You're a person in a uniform made of old trash bags whose whole job is to get an insurance discount for the company you're posted at

The guard shack almost never has cameras, and for some reason, people on tinder/Grindr are freaking wild about hooking up in a guard shack

ETA: only thing better than gate guard is posts where they want you to park your own car and sit in it for your shift. You just sit in your car all day/night. Which means your own sound system, and basically everything you wanna bring with you at your fingertips. It's awesome.

Also, midsize semi local security companies are better. Securitas and similar companies are kinda shitty, and the really small ones are always, like, weirdly militant. If you happen to be in Tennessee or Virginia I can probably hook you up with a company that'll get you a good post.

Good use for it! My best friend is a former Baptist preacher who still occasionally preaches at different churches, and he likes to use it whenever that comes up.

Mind if I ask if it was a religious ceremony?

Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord, Big Ass Bug?

I meant to define what that was in the comment and forgot. Sorry. A gurdwara or gurudwara is a Sikh worship house. Like a mosque/temple/church.

All hail Stamets, Lord of the meme.

Monkeys. Several species, but specifically pygmy marmosets. What I really want is Borrowers, but since the scientific community refuses to focus research on the actually important things, it feels unlikely in my lifetime. So pygmy marmosets. I want to walk onto my porch, and a troop of teeny little monkeys is chilling out there, living their best lives.

I absolutely will not. Vote blue no matter who is why we have the situation we have. 2016 did not give us trump. Generations of shitty corporate politicians on both sides of the aisle gave us Donald Trump. Populists win because they're popular, and trump got popular by pointing out the factual information that the house, the Senate, and the oval office are filled with corporate skills and corrupt puppets. Sadly, it was the fascist who got popular pointing it out, but it doesn't make that part of what he says untrue.

I live in a red state where my vote for federal office does not count. So I will cast my pointless protest vote for the green party in the hopes that one day they'll get their 5%, and maybe something can change. Down ballot I'll hold my nose and vote for the Democrat in most offices, and if I ever move to a competitive state, I'll do the same for federal, because I'm being held hostage by the corporate shills, and I'd rather my family not die in concentration camps that are inevitably coming if/when the fascists fully take power.

But no. Fuck blue no matter who. Who. Fucking. Matters. If it didn't, we wouldn't be in this mess. Have some standards.

Tricksy little sheepseses

In some places, you pay for utilities before using them, and they shut you fuck off right in the middle of the month if you've used it up. :/

I love this meme, but I've always been curious what the actual episode was about.

I have, in fact, gained access to your sphincter vault. I will be emailing these pictures to both of your grandfather's (and 2 excoworkers). Please send me 40 million dollars to scammy(dot)scam scam(at)notascam(dot)com.

Thank you.

I am so sick of this. If I want to consume Fizza (fetus pizza) then it is my God given right as an American!