[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 1 month ago

I have friends that served in Afghanistan, Iraq, and even some that volunteered in Ukraine, and each one, to a man, has said they didn't have half the toys these tin soldiers carry while they were in an ACTIVE FUCKING WARZONE.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 57 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

American Beauty got me to like Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey got me to stop liking Kevin Spacey.

E: mother ducking autocorrupt

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 1 month ago

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 62 points 1 month ago

Little known fact: the author of The Iliad and the voice actor of Poochie the Dog are the same person!

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 60 points 3 months ago

To spoon, ice cream is just hard soup.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 69 points 4 months ago

Let's review. Kanye West is a:

  1. Fucking moron

  2. Nazi.

  3. Chickenshit.

  4. Gay fish.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 4 months ago

The inclusion of the words "metaverse" and "creators" is preview enough for me. RIP Rockstar. May your Shark Card Casket carry you to glory in the afterlife.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 5 months ago

"Guess we'll have to put them somewhere while we figure out what to do with them. Maybe we can concentrate them all together somewhere? It would make keeping an eye on them easier. Nothing permanent, though, they aren't gonna be there forever. A camp then. Yes. Some form of camp where we can concentrate them in one place would be ideal..!"

"Brilliant!"

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 63 points 6 months ago

"Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things. You take chicken, for example: maybe they couldn't figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything."

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 107 points 6 months ago

"He's not going to hurt the poor. He's too smart for that."

Oh, you infuriating fucking summer child. It'd be hilarious if I wasn't stuck in this hellbound handbasket with the rest of you fucking mongoloids.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 7 months ago

I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I'd help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he's got a great joke, but he's not sure if it'll work in English, so he's asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they're still pretty frisky. Every time they're finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear "because i miss mine."

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it's still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

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GeeDubHayduke

joined 7 months ago