Jesus, Malcolm. Got enough sodium..?

I knew that keg full of avian droppings i keep under the stairs would come in handy one day! A good Belter never throws anything away!

"One dead CEO."

"Many more to go."

Just quoting my favorite construction equipment, please don't ban.

FUCKING EMBARRASSING!

"Hey Ross, when you were yelling 'piv-AT piv-AT,' what did you mean?"

"Taylor Hanson is a boy?!? OH GAWD..!"

Pelosi isn't a cunt. Something something depth and warmth. She's below a cunt; she's a cankle.

People with gimmicks are tiring. Just go ask daddy for a hug and leave us out of it.

I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I'd help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he's got a great joke, but he's not sure if it'll work in English, so he's asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they're still pretty frisky. Every time they're finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear "because i miss mine."

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it's still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

"Narrow, unenlightened self interest doesn't impress me."

I believe i heard his name is Sparticus...

I'm down. This was always more my style. Less pageantry.