Hey yeah, i get it (or, to some extent) . I am chronically cold due to being a healthy weight and having poor circulation. I wear thermals and hoodies year round even when it's 90+ out. But for me it's the extremeties and my ass isn't too bad.
But to be more constructive, since you know yourself better than anyone. If this is really a deal breaker then id look into getting an extra outlet installed in your bathroom which can vary on price depending on the type of wall (and their service minimum-- if you have other electrical needs you night be able to tackle all at once). It's been a few years since i had a new outlet installed but i got it for around $250/ outlet. Might be as high as $400-500 for your set up.
And an electric Bidet lid with heated water will cost you $250-500 (maybe there are cheaper ones but I'm just going by some options i looked at for my partner).
Low end $500, high end $1000 for outlet+Bidet. I'm assuming you can install the Bidet lid yourself (it wasn't hard, promise).
Now i can't do the next math for you, so I'll share my toilet math. Costco toilet paper is ~$24/30 rolls (I'm using the price online which may be higher than warehouse, but also closer to other stores). I used to go though a roll per week because my hairy ass loved to play marker with the TP. After i got a Bidet my TP usage dropped my at least 4x. A roll lasts me a long time. So if my weekly cost of TP used to be $1.25 then I'm saving $3.75/ month. And that's just me maybe you have more people using the restroom. So saving $45/year. We're looking at 10 years to break even from a cost perspective for the low end of things.
Ok, maybe that doesn't make the most sense from a cost perspective. My cheapo bidet paid itself off within a year.
Outside of cost id say this:
- i feel much cleaner.
- Ass sweat doesnt feel like I'm making a poo swamp
- my butt thanks me. No more raw asshole
- if you're in a house with septic system, less TP in the septic system. (This could potentially decrease the amount of time between pumps).
Sorry for the long message. I spent 3 decades thinking my sister was the weirdo for buying a Bidet and i wish i wouldve made the change sooner
You said it yourself that you didn't know them beyond their personas and they didn't know you beyond the bar. Regardless this doesn't make them pedophiles