Thank you for the kind message. It is good to hear that it is possible to have it great even after a miscarriage. I have had two miscarriages and two biochemical pregnancies. I did not really have time tomprocess this yet, as I had to continue treatment as my fertility is further declining due to my age. I think that might be part of the emotions as well.

It is difficult for me to not wager my personal happiness on it. I have a small nephew and when I take care of him, it just makes me very happy. It makes me feel like I would be as happy or even happier with my own child. Also, I was abused as a child and I feel that I did not have parents that really loved me. It feel unfair that I am not able to experience the mother/child bond from the perspectives of a child as well as that of a motger.

I also tried to take care of my younger siblings when I was a child. I was able to provide them with some of the emotional support my parents failed to provide, but because I was too young myself I always felt like I was not able to give them what they need. I am an adult now and I feel like I am capable now of providing children with a safe and warm environment. And I feel like I have all this love to give, but there is no child to give it to. I do not know where to put it.

I don't know. Having a child will not fix all of this and a child does not exist to fix this or to make me happy. However, it could have been an area of my life that could have been beautiful and where I might have been able to give something and be valuable. And instead, this also does not work out and is another thing that goes on the pile of things that have failed in my life.

I agree that staking my life's success on it is not a good idea. But I am not sure what else I have left. I am trying to become a writer and I am writing down all my experiences from my youth and with my sister who passed away and my fertility treatments, and so on. Maybe it can help some people who experience the same things. I think that might be fulfilling maybe and a way to create something positive out of the things that feel negative now.

Thanks for saying this. I think the idea that it is just willpower causes so much unnecessary suffering. As someone suffering from an eating disorder and thyroid disease, I was getting a bit down reading all the "it's just calories in vs calories out" remarks. It is so much more complicated than that.

That something sounds like bullshit does not mean that it is bullshit. I mean, I believe we should look at the data and the research. I did hear something about the role of gut bacteria but it was more about issues like depression. Might be interesting to check out further. Thank you.

I am not saying people should not fight their cravings. But the cravings of someone who is obese might be very different from someone who has a normal weight. Like I said, if you get below the setpoint often appetite will go up. Considering that most obese people are not able to lose significant weight in the long term, these cravings seem to be too strong and it seems to make people unable to "just eat less". So, we need a solution for that.

I am not sure whether this is what you are referring to, but I know about this study that says that prenatal exposure to famine in early gestation increases the risk of obesity.

I agree. I have one too and I am very happy with it. I also think it does not break as easily as most other phones. I drop it all the time and it is still fine, even the screen.

I hired the personal trainer too. I just kept thinking I was doing something wrong and I should just follow his schedule. So I did exactly what he said, and that did not work either. I even did worse on the stamina test after training with him for a while than on the test at the start. That is when I quit.

Ihave tried bicycling and I had similar issues with that. But maybe I did not keep enough to my own pace. That was back when I did not understand how it worked and just tried a schedule to build up stamina. You are exactly right, it should not be about performance. Maybe I should try it again with my new mindset. Thanks!

Swimming does work if I go slow! So, I am in the lane with the elderly and just go slowly back and forth. The physiotherapist did tell me I should not go into water that is too cold, because my stress might increase from that as well. So, I found somewhere to swim when the water is warm. I try to do it once a week.

I think they have instructions on the website on how to unlock the bootloader etc. There is also a lot on how they support open source with their own OS. I think that your warranty also remains valid after you unlock the bootloader and install another OS, as long as you revert to theirs when asking for support. I can sortof understand that, as it would not be feasible to support all sorts of custom ROMs.

He wants peace.

Definitely sounds like robbery :-(

It is a bit abstract, which makes it difficult to explain. For me, it basically means that I the experience goes through my mind with all details and the feelings that belong with it. The feelings usually increase until they are at their top and then they reduce again. After that, that feeling with the experience might not be as prominent, but I might have new feelings and thoughts about it, for which I do the same. This happens until I feel more at ease with the experience and it troubles me less.

For example, when I am processing the loss of my sister, I might think about when she was suffering a lot. Her pain is painful to me. So, I might cry about it and feel hurt myself. But after a while, that passes. Next, I feel guilty about not having been able to help her better. I might feel really bad about myself and almost wanting to hide. And I might feel like that for a time, until I think about that she never wanted me to feel guilty and she would never want me to beat myself up in this way about it. And that helps to comfort me. This goes on, until, in the end, I am somewhat more at peace with it. I might think, for example, something like that her suffering has been in the past and that at least she is not suffering now.

So, to me, processing is going through the experience in my mind and feel all the feelings that belong with it as freely as possible. There are like layers of feelings and you go to a deeper layer each time. This changes it in such a way that it is easier to live with.

I do have PTSD. For PTSD memories this is much more difficult. There I seem to get stuck in this process and never go to a next layer of feelings and it does not improve by just trying to process it. What does help for me is EMDR treatment for these memories. Often, after the treatment, I am able to process it much better.

I am not sure whether it is the samen for you, but this is how it works for me and I think for some other people as well. Processing things is not easy during the process, but for me, it makes my life much better once I am done processing. If I do not do it, I get stuck and I feel anxious and down.

Does this explanation help you?

I can understand it feels that way, but that does not make it untrue.

I think the stuff you have been through is far worse than the stuff I have been trough. However, some stuff happened to me as well. I was not able to feel better until I was able to process what happened. And I could only start processing stuff when I felt safe enough to do so.

Even though I was in fact safe and I knew it, my body and parts of my brain did not know it. I needed some help from a psychosomatic physiotherapist who helped me to be in a more relaxed state. Then I really started feeling all the pain of what happened to me. It was almost like it became real suddenly. That was horrible and painful. But I found that if I just cried a lot and wrote a lot and just let it wash over me, it would go away. And once it was gone, I finally felt relaxed, safe and I even started feeling good about myself some of the time. I would suddenly feel a lot lighter almost.

I am not there yet, and I still have some processing to do. The physiotherapist left, so I have to find someone else now to help me. But it really helped and I can enjoy life now, at least some of the time.

Maybe something similar is going on with you. I do not know of course, but it could be. Maybe if you are able to process what has happened to you, you might be able to feel good also.

Yes, it was very scary. Maybe that is why I still remember it and the phone.

Maybe you have nicer stuff to dream about than phones. :-)

I agree. I am a very shy person, so, it is not easy for me to comment, even if it is anonymous. I always think that nobody is waiting to hear from me in the enormous stream of other comments that are there as well. At the same time, if by some accident someone actually reads your comment, I feel that if you have a different way of wording or a different opinion, your head will get chopped off.

Because there are far less comments here, I feel like I can actually contribute something to the discussion. And people seem to be just nicer and more willing to understand each other instead of just repeating the same stuff over and over again. I like it better here!