shouts out to women. ya'll know who i'm talkin about.
almost started a mini struggle sesh in the mega about whether being a short guy is a disadvantage in dating following another thread. got some food in me and thought better of it. but fr the short version is that some of ya'll are omega coping as an overcorrection for incels coopting a very obviously real and socially acceptable form of body shaming that is rooted in patriarchal conditioning. got more extra in my previous draft but that is the short version, it's a completely valid thing to feel insecure about/to have body image issues about.
i don't even want to be taller i like my height so miss me with that shit. i like feeling like a pretty little half elf prince of thieves. but i'm also realistic about how it effects my prospects with cishet women.
work with the public and got threatened by an unstable customer today. not feeling so great rn.
ex-situationship/loverboy posting
I told my ex lover I'd check in with her in a month about the possibility of being friends, and that month mark is coming up next week. I know it's something she really wants and a big part of me wants it too. I know people say that as a token thing during break ups but i really don't think so in this case - we both grew to care really deeply for one another (maybe even love one another) in the few months we knew each other, and we didn't split b/c of a lack of romantic feelings. i think a big part of her really wished she was in a better place to be with me and she was trying her best to fight through her anxieties on that front, and i certainly did my part to self sabotage shit, especially the last night we were together/during the fight that ended shit.
the problem is i'm still not really at all at peace with what happened. i do feel like our respective insecurities and hurts blew up something really good (potentially truly beautiful and special) before its time, and that that really sucks and I wish we had tried to just work through it and build something from it. that just makes for a shaky and complicated foundation for a friendship, one (or possibly both) parties harboring those kinds of longings. i just want to trust myself to go into it without ulterior motives. i want to trust myself to show up in and give and receive love within the framework of a friendship without friendship feeling insufficient. i want to feel grateful to have her as my friend instead of wishing for it to grow into something more.
maybe it's fine to have that in the back of my mind as long as i'm genuinely, enthusiastically okay with either outcome (staying "just" friends or rebuilding something down the line). maybe complicated is fine and people work through complicated for the sake of people they love. or maybe it just needs more time to cook - we're both young/youngish, knock on wood have most of our lives ahead of us, another month or two or even a little more than that is really a blip in the scope of a human life.
or maybe this is a patently bad idea on its face and i should accept it as such and protect myself and protect her from prolonged hurt by not pursuing it. i know plenty of people would think as much looking at the situation from the outside. but tbh i'm not really looking for concrete declarative advice, just trying to get my thoughts out with my internet buddies. just trying to process my thoughts and feelings, and trying to be heard and seen i guess. that's all.
listening to up my sleeves by death grips on repeat is actually a sign of strong mental hygiene and a potent will to live. this increases exponentially the more hours the subject loops the song in question
is a dozen n a half matches in like 2.5 weeks across two apps good numbers for a dude dating women? this is only when i pay up sadly, it's a draught when i'm on the free versions. and ofc most of the matches don't even become convos let alone dates (simply the nature of the format)
haha ah classic, the good old badposting channel. always good for a hearty friggin laugh XD
I need to stop going to that cursed site but I also have far too much time on my hands and not enough people to talk too.
I've found the answer to this to be doubling down - nay, tripling, even quadrupling down - on being a megathread head on chapo dot chat
finally beat BG3. feel a similar bittersweetness to when you beat Persona 5, having to say goodbye to all of my imaginary friends....
called out of work again because sleep issues + depressed + drinking. i really should be saving more of my leave. because of the union contract management can only really make : / faces at us for using our time but eh, if im trying to get promoted at some point it could hurt me. honestly i just despise working 9-5 mane being woken by a grating alarm at a time before my body is ready is one of my like bottom 5 mundane prosaic small daily displeasures
SoylentSnake
joined 4 years ago
if i could tell my younger self one thing it would be to start taking imodium sooner you slimy assed little dolt