Funny thing about this on is that my wife actually ghost wrote it. A few of the jokes in it are my creation.

We don't get money from the sales. We just think it's cool that it's out in the world.

This is me. I have a wife and a young child. I want to fight but i have to protect my family first.

This is actually pretty accurate.

Seriously, why are we still using Twitter?

I've been calling them Trumpanzees for years now.

checks bank account

Fuck!

I'm shocked that no one has said Essential Oils yet.

We need to replace all of the Nintendo assets with meme versions similar to Sanic. This way, Nintendo can't force them down and we get to make fun of them.

I say we make Plumber Guy and Princess Bleach of the Toilet Kingdom.

I just tried this. Why does this exist? Why does this need to be a shortcut? Who uses LinkedIn so much that they need to use a 5 key shortcut to get there faster?

You missed the best series of nonsense Christmas movies:

• Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas
• Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas
• Time for Him to Come Home for Christmas
• Time for You to Come Home for Christmas
• Time for Them to Come Home for Christmas

Yes these are legit hallmark movies.

No not femboys. No one wants to see hot femboys. In fact, if anyone knows where someone may accidentally stumble upon hot sexy femboys please let me know so I can avoid it at all costs.

What if dinosaurs had feelings? Or are we collectively ignoring that one's existence?