I appreciate how chill the handyman is about the whole situation

I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said "he just moved here from Germany," not realizing that it wasn't clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.

We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice "Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out," and left.

I'm an American who speaks decent German. I've gotten this flak traveling in non-German speaking Europe - Stupid American only speaking English attitude thrown my way. Mother fucker I'm in France, a German would also be using English here. To some people the only way to not be "that American" is to speak all the languages.

On the flip side, I've had a few Germans ask me why I bothered learning their language when I could just use English.

Me, a heathen, explaining how my family does Easter to my Jewish wife:

"We dye eggs and hide them then eat a bunch of chocolate and jellybeans."

"Wtf? Why"

"I dunno"

Smek lol

I do this too. It took a while for my wife to fully understand that if she wanted to try something on my plate, she better not wait til the last few bites

I prefer "Rapist Who Wanted Vice President Dead Stumbles and Gets Confused in Speech Again" personally

My wife and I refer to a cat in the lap compelling the other to do things for you as the "Kitty Claws" of our marriage contract

I worked at an office once where the wifi legitimately got worse when it rained. It was because the buildings internet used an antenna instead of being wired, and the building was just barely in range of the source signal. When it rained, it was enough added distortion to make it noticeably worse.

I love how all this dark shit comes out of the happiest country in the world

I wanna know what the rules of the game were