Don't talk to me.

portraying people who pretend to be better just because they use a specific distro

How exactly is your setup going to be better

it won't have all the bloat and will reflect who I really am

How the fuck is this satire? It's literally just shaming someone for having different priorities. Like the only attempts at "comedy" here are actually just going for low hanging fruit "I use arch BTW", the entire vegan t-shirt thing, the receding hairline.

I went on a trawl on email security and privacy.

It doesn't fucking exist.

Regular mails w/e sure

But I'm never talking to someone via email again.

No.

u literally could have posted a map of texas and made ur point without sounding like a fuckin nerd

u will never be put against a wall, stop being melodramatic

only if u go outside

By those standards the only good thing you could do for the environment is turn yourself into fertiliser.