Iron Bitch's legacy is getting sexualized by Giuliani in court. Fantastiche.

This coming from the guy that can barely handle personal hygiene and lives in abject filth. Just shut the fuck up and play WoW dude.

Bruh, start charging at a booth and never have to serve food again.

Do something about it, then.

Might as well just end the show at that point. Satire will have officially died. The Onion will probably turn into a reputable news source.

I'm boycotting streaming the movie by watching it in theatres.

More stable, too.

Unsinkable II got me.

I'm just imagining a Cessna wearing a giant pair of Groucho Marx glasses.

anon chooses photo of someone who literally got crushed to death by a terminator in a gunfight

utopia

Easy, just write a program that takes the fractions of a cent that are rounded off during bank transactions and deposits them in an account you control. It's foolproof.

My condolences to his family, that must have been a horrifying experience and I'm sorry for their loss. Human moment out of the way, I almost thought this was an Onion article. That headline is hysterical.