anxiety meds, not beat myself up for feeling dead inside/the same level of emotions everyone else has (e.g. not crying when relatives die irl but crying at some movies), adhd meds instead of trying to rawdog curbing my procrastination with mindfulness and pomodoros and beating myself up when it doesn’t work; know what stimming is/how to explain the odd noises to my neighbors in case they ever hear me talking to myself aloud, also how to explain why I walk on my toes. know what alexithmyia is and that your body can have panic attacks while thinking your mind is 100% calm, thus making you think you’re having a heart attack.

That’s a word vomit list of things; meds are the only things you need the diagnosis for/I don’t blame people for not pursuing an official diagnosis. But again I wish I knew sooner/I had seen more explicit depictions of autism in media other than movies (which I watch a lot of) like Rain Man or Mercury Rising.

I kickstarted this, played it for 10 minutes, got my ass kicked by some wolves, and never played it again. I need to retry.

Can you imagine having savings in your account and then BAM— hit by a bus? Could’ve had some Taco Bell before you went to the void.

The man never drank a Duff in his life 😠

But it’s so harrrrrrrd! 😩

Asking me with my shit attention span to focus on something as boring as my breathing for ten fucking minutes? Even counting them doesn’t help! I tried keeping up with it for a month or two and every time I’d just space out into a long string of connected thoughts and didn’t feel any benefits.

I’ve been meaning to try it again, but even my therapist says it’s not for everyone/it may just not be for me, which would be a shame because it’s such an accessible mitigator if it worked.

This is me just venting out loud in response to this article. I’m aware I should probably get back into it, I’ve just been dragging my feet.

I really fucking hate how sensitive my body’s become to caffeine as I’ve gotten older; even just one cup of coffee puts me at what feels like the prologue to a panic attack, but without the panic attack (thanks Prozac?).

So with that and being sober, I am a fish out of water whenever I visit Germany. “So uh, do you have anything that’s non-caffeinated, non-alcoholic, and um, preferably diet? just water? yeah fine, that’s what I thought.”

You mean the police aren’t already militarized? We had them riding APCs out here in PDX in his first term. Oy vey do I hate this man.

I get my news from simpsonsshitposts and air raid sirens.

Uh oh, I’m on adderall. Is bigotry a common side effect?

Bidet with a quiet-close toilet seat 🧑‍🍳💋

Huh? Declawing maybe, but not trimming their claws.

If it does hurt, my cat doesn’t seem to show it at all/he literally just sits there and doesn’t move/will sleep through it.

And he’s still a billionaire.

And people still struggle.

To hell with him.