Nobody can do this work for you: learn to bleed with a smile.

Nope, quit reading there. My old doctor didn't believe in period pain and told me I just needed to learn how to smile through it.

TIL it can be either?

At least nobody would accuse you of half-assing it

Do you have unprompted creativity in other areas?

Like, I struggle with traditional writing, but I make miniature dioramas. It's occasionally unprompted; I recently bought frozen shrimp and thought the lid was sorta window-shaped, so now I'm making it into a window seat for a 1:12 scale treehouse library diorama. I wasn't planning the diorama first, the whole scene came to mind unbidden, and now I'm making it.

I feel like it's the same thing as what you're describing, but I don't know if you see it as different or not.

Its sort of sounding like somebody got irritated with your creative process when you were a kid, and now you're trying to reconcile that with other people being allowed to emote and create "for no reason".

Yeah, I feel like most of them are stuck in 'number go up', but I also think that the desire to make your investment 'worth it' gets stronger the more money you pour into a bunker system.

I am but a sample size of one, but I've got a copy of CP2020 and not Snow Crash, haha.

I don't know anything about this particular artist, but nude photography is super normal in the art world at large? I'm confused as to what makes nude photography 'not art' to you.

This is how you get republicans wanting to use RATM on the campaign trail

So, I'm afab and probably agender, which is where the confusion is coming from. I'm on estrogen and progesterone because otherwise my cycle is stuck to 'on', so even my relationship with hormones is complicated.

Neither of these things directly tell me my subconscious sex, but when the testosterone makes me feel awful, or when being treated and seen as a woman makes me feel wonderful, or when estrogen gives me mild waves of buzzing bodily euphoric, I make inferences about my subconscious sex from that.

See, none of that resonates with me at all. Going off my meds makes me feel terrible, but that's from the resulting anemia. I've tried living as a man, I've tried living as a woman, I've never gotten that "yes, this is me" feeling that people talk about. I don't know what "psychological self conceptualization" as a gender means, because it's all uncomfortable for me?

It feels like what you're talking about is the university course and I'm still in primary education.

When I say gender identity is biological, I am talking about what Julia Serano calls “subconscious sex” which she also sometimes interchanges with “gender identity”, which is basically that innate and unchanging sense of your sex / gender.

Okay, but what about those of us that have never had an innate and unchanging sense of my sex/gender?

Ugh, my banking app doesn't work on my phone any more because it's "old". It came out in 2017.