Let me make a really strange analogy here. Education and vocational schooling are actually effective tools when there is a problem with terrorists or militias robbing people, or cultlike groups and gangs organizing, moreso than just ramping up military or police security for communities and businesses and transports etc. You have to solve the source of the alienated disenfranchised young men who become these aggressors, there is no way to ever catch up to it.
What I am saying here is you shouldn't focus on correcting yourself or beating yourself up, but finding education and assistance. If people who fought with ISIS or Boko Haram can be rehabilitated after a time, so can you!
I try not to think about Blizzard. They got me for a year in middle school. Will not forgive them.