Not going to disagree with the tough world out there, I'm just going to suggest / ask a few things that are at least somewhat in your realm of control that might help.

• If you are willing to divulge this information - how much are you making at your current job, how much do you pay for rent and what are your expenses?
• Do you have any family members or friends you can reach out for support?
• What does the cost of living look like in your area? Any other options?

Friends don't let friends buy ASUS unless the purchasing friend enjoys months of customer support or RMA nightmare.

most of what you said sound pretty good ngl

What the hell is even that

Oh, so it's only touch that's broke. No biggie then. Just send messages with the volume buttons via Morse code.

Workaround: insist that customers piss in the beer, citing exceptional flavor-add as a positive side effect. Next version, no budget for a full bathroom, so increment beer mug size to accommodate cross-stream scenarios.

make it available to anyone

To do what?

Pando trees as they are the largest single organism in the world.

Why tf would a map update be 22GB? What is it, a CP2077 patch / DLC?

Watch out for friendly fire

Sorry but that doesn't really make sense. In that scenario it is more sensible to just release a DRM free game at start, because the first group would buy either way and the second group would buy at the higher launch/near-launch pricing (since games drop in prices over time). It doesn't make sense to make essentially 2 versions of the game over such a span of time like you described.

A more realistic scenario would be that there is some cost / licensing fee to use Denuvo tech and it no longer makes financial sense for Doom Eternal to do so, hence BOOM! DRM free.

Yeah, good call on walking away - that's what I would do in this situation. You really don't want to risk it, a clean bill of health is worth every cent. Just like the brand new Chlorox Extra Strength Toilet Bowl Cleaner now with Febreeze - leave your seat smelling flowery fresh.