I'm doing my job-- There's Amy.

I spend a few hours selecting a candy from the machine-- There's Amy.

I wake up the morning after sleeping with Amy-- There's Amy.

If you assume that a “bullet” is a unit of momentum (the mass and velocity of a bullet) and “square child” is actually just referring to the mass of a child who happens to be square shaped and not the mass of a child squared, then “bullets per square child” is describing valid units for a velocity

“Preposterous twaddlecock Time travel is impossible!”

“But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?”

“That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?”

Sacrilege

Some people even call that “networking”

Yes! Fucking preach! I loathe how many times I’ve been told by even my university that I need to “network” in order to be successful and what they say is “make friends with these people so they can help you get a job” But what I hear is “use friendship to manipulate this person for your own career goals.”

Sure I should talk to my professors and get involved in research, but not because I want the possible job advantage of knowing people in the industry. I should get involved because it’s cool fucking research!

“Scary door” from Futurama

It’s a play on the twilight zone and it’s quite something.

“A casino where I’m always winning? This must be heaven!” “A casino where I always win… I must actually be… IN HELL!”

“No Mr. smith. You’re not in heaven or hell. You’re on an airplane!”

“Help! There’s a gremlin destroying the plane! You’ve gotta believe me!”

“Why should I believe you?! You’re Hitler!”

For those interested: The Scary Door

Unhealthy coping mechanism: take a break, put in headphones, put on the most overstimulating sad/manic/violent vocaloid music, proceed to engage in megalomaniacal fantasies of battle, world domination, and self destruction until you get bored.

Healthier coping method: try to do mindfulness meditations. Doing them even when you’re feeling more normal will make it easier to try when you are. Just trying to take a few deep breaths or focus on breathing could help and at the very least won’t hurt.

Another thing is just venting to someone or writing in like a journal. If something is getting to me or I’m feeling an emotion for no reason and it’s frustrating, venting about it in my journal seems to help me calm down and manage it better.

Wikipedia disagrees: Roman Sculpture

Most statues were actually far more lifelike and often brightly colored when originally created; the raw stone surfaces found today is due to the pigment being lost over the centuries.

Does someone have that creepy French ad with the spider eating a girl out? The one that’s supposed to be an STD awareness poster? Because this is the perfect place to comment that cursed image.

“Bender, be careful! Thats the ship’s diamond filament tether. It’s unbreakable!”

“Then why do I have to be careful?”

“It belonged to my grandmother.”

I think chirality is something most people overlook in those situations too. Even if you found a world of beings exactly like you, a perfect earth with plants and low CO2 concentrations, if their proteins have opposite chirality to yours, you’re probably going to die of prion disease.

“Oh look a perfectly human person on an earth like planet I’m sure I can take my helmet off”. Nope. You just inhaled spores or skin cells or pollen or viruses or literally anything that contains “misfolded proteins” and if any of those get at all digested they could cause your body to produce more misfolded proteins, a cycle that will eventually lead to your demise.

“Look this plant isn’t poisonous” chirality is harder to check than chemical makeup. So yeah it has vitamin B but is it the kind that could kill you? (We don’t have to worry about this much on earth because basically all life on this planet makes and uses proteins of similar chirality)

“Wow that alien sex was great” too bad there were skin cells in saliva you both exchanged/ingested (or proteins in other bodily fluids) so you’re both going to die now.

Worst part is that prions are really slow acting. You could all be chilling in this wonderful earth like home for months until around the same time you all suddenly get sick and die. There’s no cure, so there’s nothing you can do besides leave a warning for the next crew who might stop by.

Oh and the same dangers go for native life on the planet too. To them you’re made of misfolded proteins so any scavengers who eat you and maybe even predators who eat them have a chance of developing and spreading prion disease. Your bodies are basically bioweapons. Any earth crops or animals you brought with would be biohazards too.

Not that anyone cares but I just realized that this is not actually paradoxical and I can prove it mathematically! (I think) Bear with me since I’ve like just barely learned this stuff this week.

Proof Let S be the set of all steps needed to be taken. It can be written as S = {(distance to be traveled)(2^-n^): n in the Natural numbers}. Thus, S shares cardinality with the natural numbers and is countably infinite.

However, time is continuous. Thus, it has the cardinality of the continuum (real numbers) which means any time interval contains an uncountably infinite amount of moments. Let us denote an arbitrary time interval as T.

Because | T | > | S | there is no injection from T to S. Thus if each step has only 1 time value, there will be moments of time left over, and since the hand is not in two places at once we know each step must have its own time value, so this must be the case.

Therefore, when moving in steps like this, one will run out of infinite steps before they run out of moments in time to complete those steps. Hence, any finite distance can be traversed in this way over some bounded interval of time. QED.

Basically, you can traverse any distance in any time interval as long as physics allows you to move at a fast enough speed. Even if it doesn’t, there may be a limit to how fast you can traverse the distance, but it is still bounded. You can traverse any finite distance like this before existence runs out of time.

(I’m still learning. So if there’s an error in my proof please be gentle lol)