Kai wynn, high on her own farts: id like a red jumja stick

Worker: oh im so sorry, we dont have any red jumja sticks left

Kai wynn: i am but one of the prophets simple servants, all i ask is for a red jumja stick

Worker: i understand but we dont have any

Kai wynn: so you would deny a a humble servant a red jumja stick?

Worker: i dont know what you want me to do, we have no more red jumja sticks

Kai wynn: breathes in my child, the prophets have a plan for us, and mine includes a red jumja stick. Do you deny the sovereignty of the prophets?

Worker: ...uh, no? But we dont have any red jumja sticks left...

Kai wynn: HERETIC! you disgrace the prophets! You have no place among the faithful! I will pray for you, that your next trip to bajor is safe and uneventful.

Worker: Sir, this is a ~~wendys~~ jumja stick kiosk

Sisko, staggering around in a halucinogenic stupor: I dont care

... No i brought tortilla chips (and salsa, im not a monster)

hi, would you buzz me in? Im here for the platonic snuggle session

Fool me once...

Nah if they aint givin me Gowron eyes then i know it isnt serious

(We should get a gowron emote of him just staring at you)

Hear me out, a distributed dating app, so that everything happens without needing a server.

Assume 1gb of free storage per device, distribute gzipped text-only profiles such that any given profile is constantly "on the network" (i.e. distributed via someone elses device if youre no longer connected, idk like distribute to 20 random devices, and then redistribute if the number of active devices drops below 5?), but have images hosted from your device so theyre only available if your device is currently connected. Have everyone set a "home location point" to avoid distributing via a device thats across an ocean or something.

Basically, by using the app you're contributing processing power to run the network. Idk ive never done or looked at anything like that before, but it sounded cool in my head. Plus text only profiles take so little space, you could store a lot of them in 1gb, especially if theyre like gzipped tarballs or something similar.

Messages could be peer to peer. If someone messages you or likes you or matches with you, it forwards that info to your device or stores it on one or more devices in order to forward it once youre back on the network.

Goal is to remove any profit motive from the app, so users instead of paying money pay with device processing power.

Ok random thought over now. Ive never done distributed systems before so its probably a pipe dream or something impractical.

2024 is gonna be a banger, I can feel it in my lobes.

De sa «Du burde flytte sørover». De sa «Det er varmere og mildere der», ja vel nu e æ faen mæ fanga på denne forbanna togstasjonen! Fette faen i helvette æ burde ha flytta til føkkings gran canaria eller nokka.

-- some nordlending whose tired of the cold, probably.

Im proud of you <3 please post/update us when youve called one of the other places?

You can do this!