I’m getting married to the most wonderful person I know on Monday. Today we got the marriage license!

Recently completed HFM Prescott’s The Man on a Donkey, a wonderful piece of historic fiction about the main actors (and a few fictional ones) of the 1536 Pilgrimage of Grace—a rebellion against the religious changes of Henry VIII. Despite being a scholar of 16th century England I’m not at all interested in historical fiction, but this was quite a beautiful work set as a chronicle and tracing half a dozen characters from their youth until the final suppression of the Pilgrimage in summer 1537. Prescott does get straight to business so I can imagine it would be a bit difficult to place oneself without preexisting knowledge of late medieval/early modern England, but that thrown-in-the-deep-end attitude worked for me.

Edit: word is that Hilary Mantel was deeply influenced by Prescott, as was the playwright of A Man for All Seasons.

Ye dead who yet live!

Thank you!

I was sent to a series of the ‘better’ programs—i.e., the ones without deaths attached to them. It took a decade of therapy to deal with the worst of the trauma and I still experience PTSD episodes several times each year. It’s astounding how these facilities carry on functioning with merely a name change. There’s almost no regulation, let alone patient rights. My first program was truly one of the better ones and they had patient rights information posted through the facility and hard copies provided in your welcome packet. When I was sent to my second program (wilderness), I asked what my patient rights were. I received dumbfounded stares followed by laughter.

Your best bet may be to find some general congestion charge videos (ie, not NYC-specific coverage). Most of what I’ve come across is extremely sparse—offering only the facts of the suggested charges with little analysis—or absurdly car-centric outrage bait.

I’ve had to explain to far too many friends and colleagues why congestion fares are just and necessary—most have absolutely no conception of the damage (private) vehicles do to any environment, but especially a pedestrian-heavy urban space.

Homemade bread will stale reasonably quickly and also go mouldy more quickly than store bought, especially if it’s wrapped in plastic. When I bake bread it takes me more than a week to get through the loaf, so I’ll divide it in half: slice up one half and freeze it (with parchment paper between the slices) and keep the other half out for consuming—wrapped in parchment either in the cupboard or refrigerated.

The frozen slices will defrost and toast perfectly in a toaster or a warmed oven. If I’m using them for a breakfast sandwich, I put it in the preheating frying pan with the lid on until I’m ready to cook the eggs.

Book Darts! I’m typically reading for research and writing and the book darts are great for coming back to the right sentence when I’ve stopped off. I’ll leave them in long-term if I’m swapping between edited volumes—I’ve got a tin of 100, so it’s no problem if I leave a few within books here and there. I typically add one to the first page whenever a new book comes home. If I haven’t got one already placed or I start reading while out and about I dog-ear.

I like the stability of keeping my settings in the same place across devices. I do travel a lot and often adjust my data roaming, SIM card, and date/time settings (I like my phone to be on the destination time the moment the plane takes off). Mostly it has to do with keeping my priority apps on the right side of the phone, rather than in the dock—my most used apps are all in the two rightmost columns.

I loved Magic Tree House at his age! That’s exactly what I was thinking—MTH is wonderful for escapism. If you can get him onto something that exercises his mind, that’s the ideal, hence my drawing, reading, and chess suggestions—anything he can sustain in isolation and when low on funds or access to shops.

Edit: magic tricks if he’s dexterous!

Unfortunately his mother is still his guardian, so she may very well one day pick up and leave with him. In that situation, at least he’ll have the skills to keep growing his interest(s) and entertain himself.

As others have said, simply providing a stable place to be around another child and adult will do leaps and bounds. But if possible I would work on helping him get into activities he can do on his own when he is dragged to mom’s work and told to sit quietly in a corner or sent to the disinterested aunt—because that’s bound to happen again.

Maybe try discovering if he likes reading and what sort of material? Children’s paperbacks can be found inexpensively; library cards are free either for a physical library or digitally. If you find he’s into reading, an on-sale Kindle could be an option that you regularly load up with Libby ebooks.

How about a small sketchbook and a few pencils if he’s artistically minded? He doesn’t need a whole kit, just a few pieces for him to pass the time. If he’s into games, perhaps teach him solitaire or get him a travel chess set. Maybe sports are more his things, then fantasy football or some such.

I think teaching and helping him develop some low-cost, unobtrusive coping mechanisms could really save his mental health in the long-term. It’s a bit grim having to suggest all these solitary activities for a child, but the reality is that he will find himself in these isolating situations again. Giving him the tools to develop interests and hobbies without his mother/aunt’s intervention will put him in a better psychological place as he ages and will provide naturally-occurring encounters with potential friends who share his interests.