That sounds absolutely mental in the most wholesome way haha.

I trained most of them to aim their tail feathers away before they do, but yes, sometimes it just gushes out when it gushes out. They're wild birds, it's part of the package. But I do put a towel on my lap, so that makes things easier. Also no scratches on the legs if the birds decide to fight each other on my lap. They do that especially in spring, when the hormones are fluctuating.

I call all of them goobers, so "Mr Goober" is called Derfred. It is the goofiest bird I have ever seen. I suspect it might've hit a window or car or something at some stage and stayed a bit silly. Derfred even bites and climbs on other birds, just playing. But the other birds aren't always prepared to put up with it haha. Poor thing. But Derfred is healthy and happy.

Here are names I've given to some of the other birds:

• Signore Salieri (has an unusually large beak and high "hair line")

• Mr Faith No More (actually a girl, but looks a lot like Mike Patton. Sounds dumb but I swear it's true).

• Mr Roy (has a rainbow-ish pattern on the head. Full name is Roy G. Biv).

• Cleopatra (a lady bird who gets a lot of attention from the boys, and takes no prisoners. She's always very nice to me, though)

• Mr Blackbottom (he has a large black patch on his lower beak - completely harmless. Beaks are black as juveniles, then the black gradually fades as they get older).

• The Scream (a girl bird who enjoys landing on my arm, staring me square in the eye, flapping her wings and screeching at me. No other reason than to chat/play. Weirdo).

• John Deere (when I sing or talk, this goober stares at me like a deer in the headlights. As if I am threatening it. It knows full well I'm not threatening it, just a bit of a drama queen).

There are more but I can't remember them right now.

I leave food and water out for the local birds, and sit outside under a beautiful big tree, and birds come up, eat the food, have a drink and a bath/splash around, then some of them land on me and we have a chat. I actually get a lot more sense out of those interactions than I do with any human where I am, so it really helps. One little goober gets a crazy look in the eye, then (most of the time) gently bites my finger and half rolls over. So I roll him/her over and tickle the belly. It's hard to stay grumpy when you start your day like that!

I've been trying out the other fediverse platforms, based on how cool Lemmy is, and they all pale in comparison. It really is a neat little thing we've got going on.

I thought peas were little unborn animals. Because they had a "cocoon". Refused to eat peas for years.

My co-workers.

Lemmy.

I worked in rail for a bit, and almost got hit once. Saw many many near misses. People think "how could you not notice a train roaring towards you?!". But these things can happen with alarming ease.

I joined Mastodon when Musk took over Twitter. That didn't really work out. So I stuck to Reddit. Then spez started up with the API nonsense, and I kept seeing stuff about Lemmy. Checked it out, and here I am.

Sadly I think this might be a big part of it. I'm glad I posted because now I have a clearer understanding. Cheers.

I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: "may your laundry never dry". That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.

Nice try, Chrome.