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submitted 1 year ago by spitz@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

It happened to me recently at work. I don't even find her physically attractive, and her personality is not what I'm into at all. But I was still somehow attracted to her - and she also was to me. She didn't like me, and I certainly am not the kind of man she goes for. It's like we had a strong connection in one area beneath the subconscious or something, but every other area was completely incompatible. Aggressively so.

Anyone else have anything similar?

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[-] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 43 points 1 year ago

Yes, I've been with a girl like that for 2 years. My friends told me that I could get better looking women and found 8t strange I hooked up with her but my god, she got me going. Also, she was a nymphomaniac. That's the main reason we broke up. Having sex twice a day takes the fun out of it if you're not a sex addict. I encountered her a few weeks ago. She gained a lot of weight but I still wanted to screw her badly. It's totally weird.

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

We are indeed a bizarre species.

[-] random_character_a@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

let me guess, neither of you use strong parfumes, so you bodies get to tell each other you'd be a good genetic mix.

[-] Schlemmy@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

She does use a strong perfume. But it has been the same for about 20 years.

[-] Blaze@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 1 year ago

Reminds me of the late /r/Trashyboners

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

Very much like that, yes. But unwillingly. :-(

[-] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

I have that problem with Lauren Boebert. I find her repulsive. To me, she's a terrible person. But, I bet she's wild in bed, and I would totally hook up with her disgusting ass if the right opportunity came up.

✋🏳️‍🌈ACCEPTANCE🏳️‍🌈🤚

[-] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 9 points 1 year ago

Could be worse and be Marjorie Taylor Greene. I think with Boebert, it's the glasses that do it just like with Sarah Palin a little over a decade ago.

[-] NENathaniel@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago

I find lots of physically hot people are quite arrogant cause they always have people chasing after them

[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago

That's the reason I quit drinking

[-] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 27 points 1 year ago

Very often. There are multiple kinds of attraction, esthetic and sexual don't always overlap 100%. Meaning to say sexual attraction is not just visual - attitude, vibe, voice, smell, etc also play a role.

And none of it means you will get along with them on the personality level.

It's just life. Part of interacting with other humans.

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago

That makes sense. There was a brief period that we actually got along, joked around etc. That was cool. Then it went back to the grinding awkwardness.

[-] herescunty@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

One of my best friends in the world is of the opposite gender. We did sleep together once, a long time ago. We both agree it was awesome but we also both agree we ain’t right for each other. We’re both married (to other people) with kids now. No regrets, she’s friends with my wife and I with her husband. Any temptation to re-tread that experience? Nope, not at all (from me anyway, no indication that she feels any differently)

I don’t have a point to make, just replying to stuff with random musings while waiting for a haircut.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago
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[-] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 24 points 1 year ago

Disgusted spiteful sex is one of the best types of sex.

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago
[-] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Go split her in two like a piece of balsa wood, young padawan!

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Actually, one of my exes really liked a song called Fuck Me Like You Hate Me. She was also quite hatable. It added some spice in the bedroom, but a high price was paid. I'm not really interested in revisiting that...

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[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 21 points 1 year ago

Yes. Many times. I'm a woman btw. I never got anywhere with these people though, probably for the best. (Not sure if in your case you did?)

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

As in, hook up with the person? Haha no that didn't happen. I thought the same as you, probably for the best.

[-] chrizbie@lemmy.nz 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Interesting, I have found myself sexually attracted to some older women that aren't really that attractive physically but they give off kind of a sultry vibe, but I couldn't say I found them repulsive in any way, does that ring familiar?

[-] froh42@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Username checks out.

(spitz means - beyond other things - "horny" in German)

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

Spitz means a lot of things. That's why I chose it. 😉

I'm not an overly horny person. If I was, I wouldn't have been disturbed enough to make this post.

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[-] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago

I get this all the time. In the past I acted on this sort of attraction, sometimes even hooking with the woman in question, but nowadays I don't do it because it's more trouble than it's worth.

[-] 200ok@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Care to share any stories?

[-] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was drinking in a bar, some 6~7 years ago, with friends. Eventually the friends went back home. But I'm a slow drinker, and I was in an exceptionally social mood, and alone.

Then there was this woman, roughly my age, on a nearby table. We chatted a bit; not to hook up, but because both were bored, alone, and fairly sober. Talking about random stuff; she was the type of person whom I'd avoid in most situations, I certainly don't care about her nails, what her sister did, and her church, and I bloody hate food-smelling perfume.

Frankly, I found her repulsive. Shallow, extra needy, and goddamn dumb. But damn, it would be bullshit if I said that I wasn't sexually attracted to her so I started flirting (ready to back down if she showed no interest) and she reciprocated. We spent the night together at her place. Sex was great, but then she started texting me every. fucking. day, to talk about the same sort of random shit that she was talking in the bar, and inviting me over again.

After that I decided "yeah, nah, I'm not thinking with my dick any more".

[-] AttackBunny@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Typically, for me, it’s been a situation where the guy was really physically attractive, but a an absolutely horrible person.

[-] scorpious@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago
[-] eek2121@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Yes. 2 decades ago I met someone I wasn’t attracted to physically, and we had no common interests at all. However she was quite independent and just a smidge dominant and she had one goal: she wanted to sleep with me. That alone lead us down a brief fling which ended with a one night stand. The night was sleepless and enjoyable, but we split up after.

I don’t regret it.

I still occasionally talk to her (as a friend).

[-] russjr08@outpost.zeuslink.net 10 points 1 year ago

Yes. I'm pretty sure its by the same virtue behind "The heart wants what the heart wants" (as in, same underlying concept). There are plenty of times where my conscious and subconscious disagree on what I "want".

However, it only takes going down the road of "Well what if its not as bad as I think..." a couple of times to solidify the idea that, yes, it can absolutely be as bad as you think...

[-] triclops6@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago
[-] axont@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

I don't have a lot of experience with dating and I'm kind of a loner, so I've had a problem over the past decade of jumping at whoever expresses interest in me. It's a bad habit. The last two people I dated ended up being deep transphobes, both laughed when I told them I'm non-binary. With the last one, we had already been on like 3 dates or so and had gotten a little intimate, so that really made me ashamed of myself.

The last person revealed themselves to be a Raëlian too, the UFO cult. A lot of other conspiracy theory junk bouncing around their brain too. They must have known all of this stuff would turn me away, because none of it came out until I had known them for two months and we'd already considered ourselves close. Advice for the future: Ask anyone you're gonna date important questions about their view of the world before doing anything further, it'll save time. Figure out their religion, politics, stance on trans/gay people, everything, because for me it was a little devastating. I thought I had finally found someone. Oh well.

[-] Droechai@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

First date questions:

Do you believe in the moon?

Would you describe the world as a sphere, a disc or a construct created by the elders of Zion designed to keep people distracted from something else?

Hmm, maybe it's third date questions, together with questions regarding family goals and values and where they want to be in five years time?

[-] axont@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

at first I thought you said elders of Zeon and I imagined accidentally dating Char Aznable in disguise

but yeah I'm gonna have to start asking basic questions about the moon landing, validity of trans people, and even if humans evolved from earlier primates

[-] zerbey@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Of course, being good looking doesn't make you a good person. Plenty of beautiful assholes out there.

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

She's not even good looking, though. I mean she's not repulsively hideous to look at, certainly not beautiful.

[-] regalia@literature.cafe 2 points 1 year ago

That's why you call some people bangable, but not wifey.

[-] suckaduck@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

If you're both thirsty and not held back by committed relationships you might as well tap each other. I certainly would and have. Ooga booga sex.

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
163 points (91.8% liked)

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