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submitted 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

As I mentioned in a previous post, I (Gen Z) was a parentified kid. My parents (millennials) didn't actually raise my younger brother... They didn't even parent him.

My brother is 12 now and I've always noticed that he lacks a lot of basic skills, like making his own breakfast, using a microwave or even closing a window. I used to think it was because he has ADHD that he doesn't know how to do basic stuff and I was made to do everything for him as a kid.

But after him having friends over and seeing their behavior... It's not just my brother, these kids are genuinely slow sometimes.

The conclusion I ended up with was that being raised by phones, tablets and computers instead of parents drove these kids away from the real world. So now they look like versions of Mr Bean, or like aliens that have never been on Earth (yes genuinely like that, it's not even an exaggeration these 11-12 year olds struggled to pour themselves a glass of water)

Now I've seen some millennials trying to pretend this is just the general trend of older generations hating on the younger ones... But it's not just that, when I was my brother's age I was able to take care of a toddler, an animal and the house chores, these kids can't even fix themselves a basic snack without making a mess.

It's so sad that their parents have destroyed their social and basic skills like that.

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So I (22F) am dating a masculine non-binary person (23nb) 'Will', and engaged to a girl (23F) 'Aiko'. Aiko is good at spending time with me because I would let her date someone else if she wants, she is probably monogamous, but she supports polyamory and is okay with me having other partners. Will is dating 'Dave' (26M) as well as me, and Will has bad attachment issues, so he is attached to several different people, including us romantically. He almost never wants to hang out with me but says that we should hang out more, it's kind of like 'I don't feel like it' or 'I'm too depressed/busy' when I ask if we should hang out, but he is always open to hanging out with his friends or with Dave. He always freaks out when Dave doesn't answer his texts but doesn't care at all if I don't text first.

I understand from polyamory and open relationships that Dave may be Will's primary because Aiko is starting to be mine due to the lack of attention I get from Will, but he barely talks to me or pays attention to me, and that really makes me sad. I have tried talking to him and he just says that it is his attachment issue because Dave is leaving for the military, which he will do, so he wants to spend as much time with him as he can, but I feel sorry for him because of this and it makes me sad. I am also attached to him as well as to Aiko, but Will will hardly spend time with me even though he has a reason for it, so I feel sad for myself and for Will and for Aiko for being so fixated on Will AND for Dave because he has to leave his boyfriend.

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Addictions are horrible things. They destroy lives, families, opportunities for success.

One of the main reasons why it's so hard to quit an addiction is that no one cares about the withdrawal symptoms.

Your job doesn't care that you're vomiting out your guts. Your bills don't care that you physically can't work. Your family members (generally) don't care about the effects of withdrawl.

It's almost impossible to get clean without a strong support group because even a single missed day of work due to withdrawal symptoms can mean losing everything causing you to want to relapse because "what's the point?"

How the fuck am I supposed to quit when it results in my family losing everything because I can't work because I'm too fucking sick or agitated to work?

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Hey, im 20M. I have only dated and thought abt dating women. I only get turned on by women. However, I like dressing up like a girl, sometimes. Sometimes, ill throw on thigh highs and wear an oversized sweater when im home alone. Im just so confused about this. I have never felt an urge to date men... so why exactly do I do these things? I feel so confused, and I have been this way for years. Up until last year I never dressed or experimented being more "girly". I do this all in the privacy of my bedroom, never outside of it.

Thanks for reading

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So, way back when I was FtM in high school, there was this bully I knew named William. William was dating Tiffany, who bullied me for identifying as a guy but having feminine interests, as she said, like art and music. I also did not have many friends, so she bullied me for that.

She even accused me of flirting with her when I thought she was kind of pretty, but I never TOLD her I thought she was pretty, she just assumed because I was awkward and tried to be her friend and I was a guy that I was flirting.

I was friends with Isabel in junior year. She was a freshman. She confessed her feelings to me but I saw her as more of a sister, so she got mad and pushed me away, being nice some days and yelling at me others. I eventually had a crush on her when she was a sophomore and I, a senior, which maybe started towards the end of junior year-summer vacation, but it was already too late.\

William, Isabel, and Tiffany, along with their friends, decided to crap all over me and Isabel became friends with William and Tiffany because they bullied me. She threatened me to stay away from them (They harassed me first) or her new boyfriend Tyler would beat me up.

WTF??

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Valnao@sh.itjust.works to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

I don't have any sympathy for Iran.

  • The Iranian regime has been enriching uranium far-above civilian grade.

  • The Iranian regimes murdered 25,000 protesters in less than 10 days.

  • The Iranian regime kills homosexuals.

  • The Iranian regime publically questions the Holocaust.

  • The Iranian regime is using Lebanon to taunt the Israelis, even if the Lebanese get slaughtered.

  • The Iranian giving ballistic missiles to Houthis to launch them on Saudi Arabia.

  • The Iranian regime has slaughtered hundreds of thousands of sunnis in Syria to maintain Bachar El Assad in power, despite the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of Syrians wanting him to live.

  • The Iranian regime is taking french tourists hostages.

  • The Iranian regime is paying people to kill opponents in London and New York

  • The Iranian regime is sending weapons to help Russia kill Ukrainians.

Even acknowleding all of the above, I believe that war was wrong.

War is horrible. War is evil. Starting a war is a really bad idea.

But if you choose a damn war, you need to go all the way.

The Iranian regime was prepared to resist. To truly win, it takes 6 months to a 1 year. You need to target communication infrastructure.

Choosing to interrupt a war while you only achieved 60% of your objectives because you are terrified about midterms or gas prices or being unpopular is CATASTROPHICALLY STUPID decision.

Now, you are going to face the same Iranian regime, except:

  • They are going to regroup and rearm.

  • They will seek nukes asap. No doubt about it.

  • They are going to restart building missiles

  • They are more emboldened than ever before

FUCKING IDIOT

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Like, she has Christian quotes and “believe in God” pictures/posters all over her wall, constantly talks about God, is intolerant of my eating problems and blames me for it yet is “friendly”, very capitalist and pro-gay yet anti-immigration/anti-trans.

Seriously, maybe I’m overreacting and this is not a stereotype but they kinda act the same… does anyone else notice this?

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I am supposed to turn in a major project, and I'm so far behind. I have adhd and my executive dysfunction has been out of control for weeks. I am already two days past the deadline, and nobody has called me on it yet, but the minute they do shit will hit the fan.

I'm scrambling to pull something together, but it's not going to be enough.

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I am certain that I am a lesbian, as I am attracted to women and nonbinary people that consider themselves sapphic, but regardless of expression (masc, fem, or andro). I'm not REPULSED by dating men, I'm just indifferent, though back when I identified as lesbian before, I hated the idea and thought that people being straight was being shoved down my throat as all I heard was "you just haven't met the right guy yet" and all the girls I hung out with only liked men and talked constantly about men so I just felt alone.

Now, though, I'm just indifferent, as I said. They don't really attract me, but I do like male characters a lot platonically and connect with them so when I find a good MLM ship between two male characters I like, I think of myself and my girlfriend.

For example, I don't really wanna be WITH the hot heroic guy in a movie or show, but I do wanna be him and get the girl or whatever. (I'm comfortable being a girl and don't currently fit in with other gender labels though, I am not trans FtM)

Every time I got with a dude, it felt more like I had a platonic bond I could share my interests with at best, or just a guy I could show off so I could talk with the straight and bi ladies about having a boyfriend too. I, to be honest, felt bad for them because they seemed so sweet and I would be turning them down, so I decided to give them a chance and I was convinced I "needed" a man because my straight/bi girl friends would say "I need a man!!" when they were single.

And people could never relate to me, because I'd always wanna talk about the first attractive people that came to my mind: women. They would wanna talk about handsome boys at school, guy actors and characters, hunks, gay romance, etc. but I'd always like to talk about lesbian romance, woman actresses and characters, the pretty girls at school but "too bad they're straight". I'd mainly find sapphic girls I had a deep connection to attractive, though I can form a crush on almost any girl I'm close with at least a little bit and I'm super romantic.

Boys, in my mind, as in guy characters, were always fun to tease, whereas lady characters always seemed like actual beautiful people I'd crush on and get into relationships with.

So yeah, I've concluded that I'm a lesbian. Is this a "canon event"? Can many lesbians relate??

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But then sometimes mom do the opposite and praises him then belittles me... but then bro ignores that part and still thinks mom favors me...

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My apologies to the many folk both in an out of the us that hate the stuff just pervading anywhere but im watching the talking on tv and it hit me. You could have an rpg for being a part of the administration. Like working in it. Im thinking I could lean heavily on paranoia rules. I will call it bluster and bullshit.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by anonclare@piefed.social to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

so i went on reddit, yes, i know it’s a cesspool, a sewer full of horrible people, but there was this one person whose story i was gonna read, their life’s story and needing advice on how to make friends. but when i clicked on their profile out of curiosity, i saw they had like karma in the -30s. i thought this would either be a troll or someone who was right and just got downvoted because redditors are stupid. turns out, they are, and she got upvoted a bunch for her opinions in a transphobic echo chamber.

she kept saying that trans women don’t deserve to be lumped in with cis women and that they take away women's bodily autonomy, that she’s been raped before and that trans women “take away” the depth of her experiences, and other stuff. she also claims that there are only boy stuff and girls stuff and that only men like video games and computers whereas women like makeup and romance and if a trans man likes makeup and romance or dolls, he is “proving” that he is a woman.

which is just stupid. i looove old tech and i’m a cis woman, wtf!?

she also claims she’s a centrist but this seems very right-wing to me, and she also claims that she wants to be very stereotypically feminine and that tomboys are misogynists and stuff.

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My workplace (a cultural non-profit) successfully unionized late last year. We achieved over 75% support during our card signing after a pretty abbreviated organizing period and were able to receive recognition and avoided a drawn out election. I am a lead organizer and have been an outspoken advocate for my coworkers; I have been very involved the whole way through and, if I had to guess, most everyone sees me as the originator. Being that we work at a cultural non-profit in a very left leaning city, management somewhat had their hand forced, but that doesn't mean they haven't engaged in union busting. They have systematically isolated people they know to be union advocates while presenting as "pro-union" to the public. They have instilled a culture of fear throughout the museum; nobody wants to say the wrong thing. We are being asked to do more work constantly since staff has been reduced by 25% since last year. I'm sure those who have worked long enough in the sector can understand what this is like, even if you haven't unionized. I have continued to take on the bulk of the work in bargaining and continuing communications with our affiliate union. I'm starting to feel incredibly isolated and, as a result, foolish for falling into the trap of feeling isolated. I hope what I'm saying makes sense, I'm running on low sleep right now and really just needed to get this out. I'm not a charismatic or extroverted person naturally which has made this entire endeavor a true test for me, and right now I feel like I'm failing. I'm feeling paranoid that even my remaining organizing members are breaking under the culture of fear and I can't rely on them to support me or my decisions. Thanks for reading, solidarity forever.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by anoncafe@lemmy.cafe to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

sorry to post so much, but now im worried as hell. is it true what someone on reddit said? i’d take it with a grain of salt, but they said i’d be bad at both being a tutor and a barista, both jobs i wanna work at, due to my disability making it slow and that i’m not good enough and that they wouldn’t pay me to help their kids because i don’t know either skill inside and out. however, another person on lemmy said they were being a jerk and that you gain experience by working and watching others.

idk what to believe :( the lemmy user sounds reasonable and sensible, but idk, im worried im gonna be terrible in the working industry because i dont have much of a skillset for anything as im disabled and my memory and reflexes are wack and i cant talk well (i stutter and freeze sometimes) despite being more extroverted, and my disability makes it hard for me to do so many other things.

atp i won’t be able to get a job anywhere because im not fast enough or a good worker...

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...kind of a bummer that I can't tell anyone in my family because half of them (including my parents) will look at me like an ATM whose job it is to set myself on fire in order to keep them warm.

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too reserved? (lemmy.wtf)

if you look into advice on talking to others, often you'll find something along the lines of asking them about themselves or their interests, that people like to talk about either of those.

i'm not interested in talking about myself, despite the following, nothing tragic or anything to be ashamed of...i'm just with me enough as-is.

i don't think my interests are general, or particular enough, to be much to discuss either.

however, i can carry a conversation pretty well with anyone that's not like me. i like exploring others' interests and views, and amusingly enough if it all pans out, they'll miss or forget that i haven't shared all that much to do with myself, at least in the moment.

but i think that's been catching up to me lately, and as much as i know what i could do, i don't feel like it.

there's nothing about me or my interests that can't be readily found in some combination across the many, many other people around. it's redundant to share, much like this.

tiresome too.

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by hodgepodgin@lemmy.zip to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

About 20 minutes ago I got off the phone with my department manager and was told my services are no longer needed. My department head said he wasn’t at liberty to discuss the reason why. I’m an at-will part-time employee for a university and do it as part of my classes. I’ve been working here for about 5 months and my relationships with everyone has been mostly positive, not super outspoken either.

This week I did some brief work in the PD office and must’ve been recognized by someone there. That person likely told the department manager what my past was and a few days later they decided to fire me. This comes only *three days after that, after many months without problems. So: I was suspended from school a few years ago due to legal charges against me, but it was ultimately stripped from my academic record and since I was a youthful offender it was also stripped from the legal record. My parents made sure of it. In court the charges were dropped to an offense (jaywalking) due to plea deal. I was never convicted. However, NONE of this should have been brought up since it is under a sealed record.

I genuinely doubt this is due to my performance at work. We’re somewhat overstaffed and a lot of my tickets are completed in a timely manner. Most of my coworkers like me and it’s not like I’ve stolen anything at work or crashed any company vehicles.

I fucking regret thinking a few years would separate me from my past actions. I thought I was able to move on and grow as a person but it finally caught up. I also wish this was because of funding or whatnot but I kept getting the “I’m not at liberty to say.” So I have to assume it’s because of my past.

Sorry for the paragraphs but I just needed to vent. This is the second time this has happened to me (first being the suspension) and I was actually relying on this job for the summer —i have no summer job lined up.

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My (22F) boyfriend Will (23NB/M) only spends time with his other partner Dave (26M) and only mentions him. It's always "My boyfriend Dave this" "My boyfriend Dave that" or "I can't wait to see my boyfriend!" "I miss my boyfriend!" "I'm sad I lost my phone so I can't text my boyfriend!" (today)

Like, it's so confusing because WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm right there. And he shows guilt a few times and apologizes but keeps doing it. And he never worries about texting me. In fact, he always leaves me on read and doesn't bother to text back because mainly he's calling Dave!!!

And I have Aiko (23F), my fiancée, and I love her to death, but I don't know why I'm so jealous and hung up over this guy!! I just wish he treated me how I treated him and how Aiko and I treat each other. I never tell Aiko this stuff because I don't wanna make her jealous so I only spend time with her and talk to her about our interests, not him or his interests.

But seriously, and whenever there's an example of a relationship, he never says "I would never do that to Wendy", it's always "I would never do that to Dave" when I hear it. I'm just an afterthought.

But you know what? I'm obviously a sidepiece, and he's romantic sometimes when we see each other and touchy with me, so maybe he loves me more than I think and I'm just overreacting because I'm such a good person. Like, the queen of good people. So I will likely stay with him and just suck it up.

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I noticed this happening over Christmas. The one big claim to fame that Amazon has is fast and "free" shipping. But that seems to be going away now.

Alot of stuff I ordered in November and December of last year, took longer than usual to arrive. I just chalked it up to how busy the holiday season is.

Fast forward to this month, and all of the items I ordered took longer to arrive. Even "Prime" listed stuff. On the website it said shipping next day. It took two days to arrive. Stuff listed as two days to arrive turns out to be a week now, and so called "Prime next day shipping" is now only guaranteed if you spend 35 dollars or more. And even then it still arrives a day late.

So to everyone hating on Amazon, rejoice! It looks like it's reign is starting to dip. I've been doing alot more shopping on Walmart who seems to have better pricing and shipping.

I wonder who the next big online retailer will be?

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Do 6th graders need to know what a ducat is? Idk. I just thought this video was dank so I made them watch it.

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It's not a graded project in a typical way and I already did a thesis esque project last year that I can basically repurpose. But I have to get the prof advisor signature and it feel super awkward to reach out with a month or less left.

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Off My Chest

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1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

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5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


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