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This is mainly for the women here who've had GRS/orchi, but if you experience these then be sure to see your doctor either way ~

symptoms of menopause


Please don't judge my story too harshly I have terrible mental health lol.

I got an orchi some time ago and when my hormones were tested shortly after, my estrogen was about double what it should be so my endocrinologist reduced my estradiol dosage by half. Shortly after I started experiencing some of what I would later learn are menopause symptoms. I thought they were my body getting used to the changes from the operation and just soldiered through them. By the time I saw my endocrinologist six months later they had become much worse and were pretty severely impacting my quality of life.

I'm on a higher dose now and I'm sad to say for me it is not an instant fix. A week later and I'm still experiencing issues so if anyone knows generally how long it takes symptoms to resolve I'd love to know lol. I'm mad/disappointed in myself for letting things get as bad as they have and worried that they won't get better. I appreciate y'all reading <3

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I.... want bottom surgery (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Ive been thinking about it fir a while, but i think i really want it. It feels strange still being so early on. Ive inly started hrt 8 months ago, but i really want it. And i want ffs. Its like the floodgates broke open and i want as much as i can get.

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[TW] Dating (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Sorry this is a bit of a depressing subject but I've been feeling down and I kinda want to interact with ppl online.

Basically I'm feeling down because the girl I liked (I'm not out to her) is very likely into another girl (she's bi).

I never dated in my entire life, mostly because I feel like a freak and don't want to seem like a pervert trying to flirt with a girl. I don't know why I feel like this, but it's really taking a toll on me because if even as a relatively attractive guy I couldn't find anyone, how the hell can I find someone now?

I know T4T exists but there are so few trans women where I live, and the queer community is tiny here. I feel like I'll always be a second option to cis women(genital preference) and it just feels bad. I'm scared I'll end up alone. Moreover the HRT is making me crave intimacy so that adds to the pile...

Anyone feels like this too and found how to deal with it?

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by LittleFox@yiffit.net to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

After fighting with health insurance for nearly a year, I suddenly have a surgery date in less than two months and just ... Aaaaaaaaaaa o.o

I'm so nervous x.x

It does match nicely with my other plans tho - like moving to Finland in roughly half a year .. but I completely didn't expect it to work out this nicely. Even boss was like, after some "can we manage to release those features before?" (I'm a tech lead and service owner at an IT hosting company), "say yes to that proposed appointment, we'll make it work"

I still can't quite believe it o.o my downstairs has an expiration date o.o

I'm out since July 2018, on HRT since April 2019 and had my first appointment for GRS in late October 2023 - even tho there where some unnecessary delays, it worked out way faster than expected. Am German btw, AOK plus. They wanted a chromosome test which was the longest step since the lab was fucking slow.

Big surgery scary tho x.x

Sorry, just had to vent that somewhere

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by OldEggNewTricks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

It's super cute, but not so feminine as to contrast my face.

It hides the bits that stick out where I don't want them to.

It fakes the bits that don't stick out where I do want them to.

It's comfortable. It's (a little bit) spinny.

I'm never taking it off! That is all.

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by MicrondeMMMMMMM@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[TW] Stretch marksI'm so happy about this OMG OMG OMG!!!! I have such a hard time gaining weight and since it was going down I assumed I needed to eat more, but it looks like I was losing muscle and gaining fat? I don't know any women around me who likes hers but I think they look soo cool! Like a nice pattern on my skin. :)

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Hug pile! (beehaw.org)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by xilliah@beehaw.org to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

🤗

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OMG! I follow so many trans groups on here, fb, yt, reddit wherever and there are so many of you that if I didn't see where it was posted I'd assume you were just a rediculously attractive cis woman and I'm so jealous!

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Shapewear advice please?! (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Hi all!

I've been looking into shapewear a lot recently and looking for any input/advice. I think I'm between rectangle and inverted triangle shape and looking to do some tummy squeezing, waist cinching trying to get more of waist and hip pads or something to make a more hourglass shape. A lot of hip stuff also has butt pads, which I already have enough butt I think 😅 is there one garment that could do all of these any kind of decent, or is it easier/better to get a couple of things more focused on doing one thing good?

Also been thinking about breastforms, so any advice there would be appreciated there too!

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Hi there, we are interested in specific types of skirts (or dresses), namely those that go up at the front and down at the back (especially if there's a significant difference i.e. shorter at the front and longer at the back so the back going down is obvious) and was wondering if any of y'all knew their name or where to get them.

We would especially love it if they could have multiple layers but a single layer would be okay if that's not possible.

Oh and a request, if possible, since we don't use amazon since they do not treat their workers well we would prefer no links to them, thank you!

Extra bonus points if any of them have pockets, but that's a big ask, we know.

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by will_steal_your_username@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Hi! I've been using gel for several months, but a few weeks ago I made the change to injections. Each injection has resulted in some pains in random areas in my left leg, but mostly concentrated in the muscles below the knee. I also started waking up with muscle spasms in the same leg, which is something I used to have before puberty. The pain mostly subsides after a day or two.

I suspect the issue is vasodilation which I understand is more common in women than men because estrogen dilates the blood vessels, but I wanted to hear other peoples thoughts.

Wearing overknee socks (to compress) helps, as does ice and exercise/movement, which I think is in favour of this being vasodilation.

I will be bringing this up with a doctor in a couple of weeks, but I'm afraid he won't be able to help much or have someone to refer me to as competence regarding trans stuff is pretty low here in Norway (also I'm diy).

I would like to know as much as possible about what this could be so I have something to present to him.

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I get suggestions online like do my hair, makeup, etc but as a first time girl I really don’t know where to even start, so I end up doing nothing and looking like a hag and im tired of being treated like crap

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An Epiphany (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

For context, I've been on the fence about going on HRT.

During my therapy session today, I was talking about some of the fears I have about going on HRT. Up until now, I've been trying to ease myself into transitioning because I do have my doubts and I don't want to rush into the wrong decision.

I've been "crossdressing" (what does one call this if they think they're trans?) on and off for a while now, and I've been in therapy about dysphoria for a few months now, but HRT is still a big decision that I didn't want to influence myself toward if I didn't need it. I didn't go by female pronouns, didn't experiment with names, hesitated to call myself trans until I soul searched a bit more and knew. I think that's partially due to fear of being ostracized by my family or affected by the horrible legislation attempting to go around in America right now, or really just rushing into something big like that in general.

Lately, I've been leaning toward wanting to go on HRT. I've been searching for clinics to freeze my sperm and I've found a couple of sources for HRT, just to have everything sorted if I decide to start transitioning. Today, when I was going over my fears with my therapist, I just blurted out

"Fuck, if I had gone on HRT when I was 18 then I would just be a woman by now. Dammit."

Right after I said that, I realized exactly what I had said and what emotions I was actually expressing. I think it took me forever to admit it but I definitely want HRT. I want to be a woman. I'm scared still, in many ways, but I think this is the path for me and I want to embrace all the joys and struggles which come alongside transitioning. So that said, I'd like to ask any of you girls on HRT, what were some unexpected trials and happy moments during the process?

I turn 23 this December, and it would be amazing if I could start HRT before then. It's doable, I have to hunt down some good sperm banks first because I still want biological kids someday. My main fear right now (and I do apologize to you non-American Lemmy users that are sick of hearing about this) is this damnable upcoming election. I don't believe that team Trump will go down quietly if Harris wins, but it would ease my mind greatly if I knew I didn't have to navigate my transition with a 2nd Trump administration breathing down my neck. How are you other American girls dealing with that? I'm almost at the point where I say fuck it all and live my life. So close.....

but do I want to paint a target on myself?

Idk. Thanks for reading my thought spew, it helps to get it out in writing sometimes.

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by Fal@yiffit.net to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

So I know everyone is going to answer "yes", but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I'm AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I've always felt that was wrong though. But I don't necessarily think I'm a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I "trans"? I don't feel "cis", but I feel like calling myself trans just isn't accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I'm basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online "t4t". Would other trans people consider me "trans"?

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by xilliah@beehaw.org to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

It's good for all of us to be privacy literate, given that things can take a turn for the worse in many places, or already are bad. There was a post a few days ago that highlighted how the vast majority of trans people rely on internet access 🤔

I'll start by saying that matrix seems to be a solid solution for communication, and tor for accessing information. It's worth it to get familiar with them before you need them yourself, but also to understand them as a community so we can support each other globally 🏳️‍⚧️

I am also wondering if any of you are familiar with getting around network restrictions. For example a DIY mesh network? 📡

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This community seems more active than it’s been in the past

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For context I'm not out to anyone and I still boymode (6months HRT)

I was at a party in a bar with friends 1 month ago, we took pictures together and posted them in a discord server, immediately a dude "V" asked if I was a real femboy. So now I have people asking me about it and I didn't reply.

Yesterday I had an eyelid surgery and I sent a picture in the group with my eye patch just for fun and V immediately went "yeah you're 100% a femboy I was certain of it" (in another language) and people AGREED???!!

I don't know what to do, on one hand I want to be a woman not a boy or a man, but on the other, since I probably won't pass until I get FFS I might as well say I am a femboy in the meantime, this way I can pretend to be a man and still wear what I want?

I'm not sure I would get treated better than if I was out as a trans woman. Feminine men get a lot of shit. But femboys seem to be trendy enough to be seen as weirdly cool. Idk...

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I was going to make this a meme, but image uploads are broken.

So after spending way too much money and buying All The Things on Amazon, I've noticed a pattern.

  1. Browse clothes
  2. "Oooh, that's pretty!"
  3. Check size
  4. Shucks, too small
  5. Buy it anyway
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I came out to my mom in may and until 2.5 weeks ago everything was fine. I had another session with my therapist and before that I told her how my feelings regarding my gender identity intensified and that I seriously started considering DIY HRT (not in that words because she doesn't know what that means, but that was the point). After that she started to swing really hard in both directions when talking to me about my gender identity. She is doing her best to help me (it's not very successful because she doesn't understand what being trans means) but sometimes she tells me how people from LGBT community do really bad stuff. To be fair, in our country there were some situations where someone from from the community who would do something in public they really shouldn't do, but that's really small number of people. I told her that only some people are like that and most don't do things like that but she just tells me that it's actually opposite. Today she entered my room just to show me how some crossdressers "made fun" of the Last supper (she found it offensive because she is a Christian) and to tell me how bad it is and that that's what I want to get into. Worst part is that I already told her the first time that I don't want to participate in public LGBT events and that I just want to live my own life, but she continues to do stuff like this. To me it feels like she sees things like things and is scared that I will be part of that while ingoring what I already told her. And I don't like the way she talks about that. I'd like to give her some resources so she could learn something about trans people but I couldn't find anything good on my native language (she doesn't know any other language). If I just told her that wouldn't be enough. At this point I'm not sure is she truly accepting or not. What should I do?

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I’ve been on HRT for two years, why do I still look like a man, why do I still look like this, why is my dystphoria worse than ever. Why do I hate myself so much. Why haven’t I’ve been loved and snuggled. Im just so sad with everything honestly can’t sleep.

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Hair care (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

So I've spent the last few decades with very short hair. It's naturally quite wavy, and now I've started growing it out, it's sticking out in all directions and looks a total mess, particularly around the ears. What do?

I know what shampoo and conditioner are, and I think I have a comb somewhere. Can anybody point to some good absolute-beginner tutorials, or give advice? I'm sure someone's been through the same thing...

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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by xilliah@beehaw.org to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Don't give up. Eat your breakfast. Be ready to open the door. Sometimes I just can't take it anymore. A shoe lace here, a shoe lace there, all tangled up and poor.

I ruminate in the deepest point of darkness. In the eye of the singularity and at the heart of warmth. Thuds of fire strike upon the distant shore.

I pull and I pull, but I cannot free my neck. And my face runs pale, and my experience runs thin. I gasp for air, and I let it in.

An oasis in my breath. The orange of orange juice. And I, and I can be found in the blue sky, by the grace one cannot lose.

When last night I lay in pain, I snapped this just for you, as the moon came.

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Today I played Super smash bros with my 8 year old cousin, when I picked Rosalina he refered to me with feminine pronouns during that match. It was weird because this is first time I was gendered correctly but also felt great. And he isn't aware at all about my gender identity issues so I wasn't expecting it at all.

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Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

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