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He also can't verify that they're not gorging on pornography.
Edit:
We heard they're rubbing themselves raw!
Edit:
I don't know why I can't stop thinking about this. These guys can't stop cranking their hogs. I just know it!
Cranking all the way to Kiev
In this erotic metaphor Putin is edging (2 years now, God damn!). These DPRK soldiers don't have that kind of control, yet, but they came to learn from the Russian semen retention masters.
Oh shit!!! It's still No Fap November, what the fuck are these guys doing?!?!?!
Dick Destroy December is around the corner. Fucking wait!