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submitted 2 weeks ago by moonlake@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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checkmate Christians badeline-heh

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[-] Seasonal_Peace@hexbear.net 24 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

In case you were wondering, for Santa to pass through every chimney of the houses of all those who celebrate Christmas, he must be no wider than 25 cm. However, not every house has a chimney—and technically, breaking and entering via a chimney is a crime. If Santa were caught, he might end up in jail!

AITA because I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney??

ELI5 how big is Santas sack?

[-] TheDrink@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago

I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney

That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.

[-] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

I think that's the plot to "The Santa Claus" with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

Dark and gritty Santa Clause reboot where Santa says "fuck"

[-] SoyViking@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15's to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.