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Anon signs up for a 5k
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2025
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She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn't I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
He was very honest and upfront with me about how he was in love with my wife and wanted to be with her. Props to him, I guess. I'm definitely better off! My ex was incredibly demanding and controlling. Sometimes I think I'd thank the guy if I ever saw him again!
I hope you didn’t have a kid or shared property with the ex
We didn't want children and she purchased the shared house by giving me her life savings which I used as a downpayment for my own house. Thankfully it was an easy split!
Good on you, mate. Thanks for sharing your story
It's kinda funny how cheaters don't realize that their affair partners that know about their main relationship can easily sabotage it by just being open and honest. They can force the cheater's hand at any time and in many cases even remove the other option.
If any affair partners that want a relationship are reading this, discretely inform their partner of what's going on. You'll either get what you want or the cheater will be forced to reveal that they don't actually intend to leave their partner for you and are just leading you on. Their partner finds out what a snake they are with, too, so it's a win for everyone other than the cheater, though even they might feel better once the dust has settled and they don't need to hide their activities--until the next one, at least.
Fr, she wasn't going to no 5k. She had other plans.
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
Calculations
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
same
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.
He wanted that for both of them.
He signed both of them up for it. There was a confirmation email and everything.
And he was willing to be at the back. Everyone knows the middle is the best.
Anon is jealous