111
[Not the Onion] The couple who want to make America...
(hexbear.net)
For what it's worth - the Washington Post put the article in the style section.
These parents weren't stuffed in lockers enough as kids
taking a stab at what these kids will be called when they're inevitably stuffed into lockers themselves:
New Mad Max cast
This nickname is potentially a blessing, depends on Octopus' personality.
Thirsting Sewage
In reality, these kids will just pick a kinda normal name as they're growing up, like most kids whose parents give them names that border on mild CA
Indy/Rick
Avvy/George
Tor/Orry
Ty/Vic
Wait these are those funky "American" names from that weird SNES Japanese baseball game
Brass Eye tier names (eg. Alabaster Codify, Chuck Fadanoid, David Compression, Alan Fortune-Vatch, Tasscam Holiday, Accelorata Jengold et al)
I was stuffed into so many fucking lockers as a kid. Maybe that's why I turned out communist... 🤔