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[Not the Onion] The couple who want to make America...
(hexbear.net)
For what it's worth - the Washington Post put the article in the style section.
taking a stab at what these kids will be called when they're inevitably stuffed into lockers themselves:
New Mad Max cast
This nickname is potentially a blessing, depends on Octopus' personality.
Thirsting Sewage
In reality, these kids will just pick a kinda normal name as they're growing up, like most kids whose parents give them names that border on mild CA
Indy/Rick
Avvy/George
Tor/Orry
Ty/Vic